ELENA.blogspot.com

2009-06-19T21:06:00.002+08:00

#571. just want to make sure that my blog is not dead.

WHY THE HELL AINT THEY STOPPING SCHOOL?
I HATE PRELIMS!

2009-06-16T21:09:00.002+08:00

#570. im supposed to be studying my lit! still procrastinating my life. urgh.

went to northpoint today to meet theodore. havent seen you in a while (approx five days), i missed ya! had fun laughing for five consecutive hours at random things. yeah she actually went to count. started laughing all the way from macs to the walk around yishun. went on a "duck chase" (inside joke) around yishun. i declare that i was having kim hyun joong withdrawal symptoms. im turning into an avid fan! so im here watching videos, depriving myself of my studies. wait, correction, i don't feel deprived at all.

we tried to study lit today but we screwed up the approach. had to go find mrs tan for help. still trying to understand off centre. no idea why i think local productions are harder to understand. to everyone out there who is taking geog and finding it hard to study, at least you don't have to rack your braincells to find SOMETHING CONDUCIVE TO STUDY FOR. be thankful.

2009-06-15T19:31:00.002+08:00

#568. was supposed to be studying physics, but i dozed off, and im getting an immense headache now. hardly rest today from my studies, so i decided to take a break. when i say this i don't mean im gonna do fantastic for my prelims. it just means that im rushing for time. like crazy. been hearing the noisy drilling of construction work around my neighborhood for the past few days and i'm going insane. i swear.

anyways, the emphasis of my post today is not on construction work (as much as i have proclaimed my dislike for it a few days ago). its on

SCREAMING.

i hate screaming. i swear. i hate it so much i can strangle myself. and i have examples to prove it today.

#1: was trying to study in the morning, and there were a bunch of kids playing at the void deck downstairs, having lots of fun. how would i know? because they were screaming at the top of their lungs. yeah, plus the wonderful drilling that i've been going on and on about. add everything together and you get the most conducive studying environment of your lifetime. i advice everyone in the world who wish to be mugging not to come to my neighborhood for the next few weeks, lest you end up as frustrated as i am.

#2: went to my cousin's house today. for a visit, but got forced to watch drag me to hell. got darn scared (DUH -.-), and i covered my eyes for the whole movie. okay, except the first five minutes. but i got darn freaked out when i saw the gypsy woman cursing the girl, so i decided to shut my eyes after that scene. spent 2hrs behind the pillow listening to people scream, and incredibly loud sound effects. seriously, "listening" to horror movies goes something like AHHHHH~ BOOM~~~ AHHHH~~ along that line. never watched a horror movie for like the whole of this year. after today, NEVER going to do it again for a long time.

#3: was trying to watch videos of hyun joong on youtube to destress. seeing my idol's face makes me feel happy. until i watched a video of fans screaming nonstop. as in going like HYUN JOONG! HYUN JOONG! HYUN JOONG! louder than the music. yeah, was trying to admire his hotness @ dancing, and all i heard was his name being screamed for 3 whole minutes.

in short, i hate screaming. avid fans, or horror movies.

2009-06-14T19:50:00.002+08:00

#567. am trying my very best to remember to blog so that my blog wouldnt die, but im just remembering hard enough. my apologies to that.

my house is under construction! the gigantic tv in the house is spoiled, and my parents bought a new plasma tv. which means the gigantic cupboard along with the huge tv has to be thrown away. to my friends who had visited my house, you know how gigantic that damn cupboard is. spent the whole morning as a family dismantling it, before my brother and my dad threw it away. came to several conclusions about construction work:

(1) i am not cut out for it, because im way too scared that my face will get disfigured.
(2) i don't like to be sweaty and playing with things that will cut my fingers.
(3) men are very useful when it comes to this kinda things (like DUH, but yeah, i really learnt this today)

my brother insists that we should "handprint" the whole wall, since the house looks so plain now. and i insist that i think he is insane. am not going to put my allowance/life at risk with him. suddenly finding my family life so amusing. :D

to val: sorry for sucky sms yesterday, was busy. cheer up dear. cheer up! :D

toodles ~

2009-06-11T20:34:00.000+08:00

#566. today is the last day of the extra lessons scheduled for the june holidays! it was supposed to mark freedom since i finally don't have to go to school, but i think its the beginning of hell because everyone is mugging like shit for their prelims, and im just not working hard enough. cant seem to concentrate. still trying to fine-tune my mindset for the upcoming exams, but i sure hope that it will be conditioned well enough soon. i have some serious mugging to do.

nothing much to blog about, except that the weather is driving me insane. read the newspaper, the highest recorded temperature this year was on may 16, approximately at 33.6 degree celsius. and it is predicted that this month's temperature may go even higher than that. i wish those with broken fans/no aircons all the best, and may everyone be cool-headed, because believe me, being in a bad mood under horrendous weather is not a great thing.

toodles ~

2009-06-09T20:11:00.002+08:00

#565. happy birthday theodore! here's wishing my great friend a happy sixteenth birthday. im bummed that i didnt get to know you earlier, but believe me you brighten up my life a lot. thanks for always being there for me when others are not, and always making me laugh with your plentiful amount of nonsense. STUPID PEOPLE and SHADES. lols. i will never forget those things i promise. sweet sixteen dear. (:

went to celebrate theodore's birthday at seoul garden orchard today with clique, filbert and ashley. laughed like insane at ashley's "meat noodles", and filbert's stupidity at virtually everything. took neoprints! after an incredibly long time. had fun, but i hope that theodore did too.

choir camp is over. tiring. honestly i thought the planning wasn't great, was disappointed to a great extent. especially at particular people who are supposed to be of authority and seems to have zero sense of responsiblity. she is not even worth me wasting this space on my blog.

heard from theodore that hyun joong fainted from exhaustion yesterday morning. how sad. hope he rests well. no idea why im saying something so random. MUG ELENA MUG. toodles ~

2009-06-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

#563. in a freaking bad mood now. and i don't even know why. then again, half of the time when im blogging, im in a bad mood. so my blog is filled with nonsensical rubbish that sounds completely stupid, because im never thinking straight when im writing here.

went out with my family together and had a good time. first time in my life. as in, i hardly go out with my family, so it was a time that i really enjoyed myself. then started receiving smses about choir camp, and i started to get really freaking pissed off. no idea why. val is not going for camp apparently. that stupid thought has been flooding my mind for the past few hours, which started to get on my nerves a lot.

i shall pretend that im a really considerate friend that i can understand she cannot make it bad in time. and pretend that im going to have hell of a fun time at camp tomorrow when i don't see the point of going there at all when my best friend isnt there. i didnt take part in planning, i don't want to be in charge of games. i don't want to participate in games. im sorry i don't even want to go. don't want to see anyone there (honestly no offence, im just not in the mood to interact with 99% of the world). and pretend that i'm really happy when all i want to do is concentrate on my studies/doing whatever i want. yeah, i hate pretending that im really concerned about things that i am not. unlike particular hypocrites that i can think of. that i will have to see tomorrow.

so sorry if anyone reads this, just some honest comments that i've not said.

2009-06-06T20:05:00.003+08:00

DISCLAIMER: KIM HYUN JOONG FLOODED.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

its kim hyun joong's birthday today. my new found idol, so i'm going to dedicate my whole post to him. yeah elena is getting into a total insane fan mood these days, so pardon my craziness. i still think he's darn handsome, both real life and in the show. and he's talented.

i really like this picture, but according to my brother he thinks otherwise. bet he's just jealous. somehow i think he looked way better than in boys over flowers, but then again i got crazy over him because of the show. (:

saw this photo in theodore's phone. jihoo in shades. cute no?

came to a conclusion that kim hyun joong looks drop dead gorgeous with any instrument that you put him with. i swear. this is the piano versions of it.

the violin, most commonly seen in the beginning of the show. he looks great in white.

and my favorite, the guitar. probably because it's the only instrument that he can actually play well in real life. he was also screened conducting an orchestra, and playing the harmonica. looked darn hot. i swear. and he can dance. seriously. talented, handsome and wonderful. yeah i cant seem to explain why im so in love with him.

anyways, theodore told me that SS501 is having a concert in singapore in december! it's after my 'o's and i am definitely going. :D thats it for my post, dedicated to my idol. toodles ~

2009-06-05T21:08:00.001+08:00

#561. went to the library to study with theodore today. pretended to be very engrossed in my studies, when all i wanted to do is sleep. am getting so distracted by my bed and the computer these days that i have to resort to getting out of the house to concentrate. but it didnt really happen the way i wanted it to be.

was a nice day though. ate at breeks cafe, yummy yummy food. had hell of a good laugh laughing at everything and everyone. girls gossip when they are together, part and parcel of life. theodore was getting so irritated that i shriek at kim hyun joong's face every time i see it! i cant help it, he's too cute. (: way too cute. seriously. never really got so crazy over a male artiste before, but he is way too cool. shall keep my praises for tomorrow. anyways, i bet theodore had a great time today with my presence too. we should do this more often dear! (:

my dad is finally back from poland. the house sounds so much more cheerful with him around. everything today is putting me in a good mood. as compared to my post yesterday, this has "HAPPY AND CONTENTED" written all over it. toodles ~

2009-06-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

#560. im tired, and bored.

5 things to complain about this week

(1) EXTENDED LESSONS ARE A FREAKING WASTE OF MY LIFE.
(2) IM BROKE! I HAVE BAD FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT
(3) I HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO STUDY FOR THE UPCOMING PRELIMS!
(4) IM HUNGRY AND THERE IS NOTHING TO EAT IN THE HOUSE
(5) MY FREAKING PHONE IS SO DARN SCREWED UP.

yeah, generally i think life sucks today. toodles ~

2009-06-02T20:30:00.002+08:00

#559. busy busy day. will only blog about important events.

ACJC choir concert, An Evening with Friends.
not as nice as i expected it to be, but still it was good. they were almost perfect, apparently, but the choice of songs were mundane. i felt like i was hearing the same thing for 7 times consecutively. plus there was little life in the concert. not something that hyperactives like me will appreciate. but generally, pretty nice. (still wished i havent spent the money though).

Prelim Two Oral Exam
was a breeze. i got ms magno, and she was like incredibly nice. i have no idea why she appeared to be enjoying herself more than i did, laughing to herself like nonstop. and she made my name sound really high class. believe me, thats a first compared to all the nonsensical pronounciations i've been hearing for like my entire life. she seemed impressed. i shall pray that i can do well.

KBOX!
went to kbox with val, pohshen and sien after oral exam. were going to catch a movie but didnt, so decided kbox was our next stop. had hell of a fun singing nonstop and laughing like lunatics. for instance, my pet monkey dance funny. i swear. and sien is HIGH. and insane. now everyone knows how to sing her idol's signature song. i had a blast guys. GO AGAIN AFTER PRELIM ONE.

toodles ~ :D

2009-06-01T11:37:00.002+08:00

#558. today is the first of june. can you believe it? almost half of year 2009 is gone. woke up early in the morning and sat on my bed, contemplating about what i've been doing for the past 5 months. came to a conclusion that i virtually did nothing very important, and the only accomplishment i could say im proud of is SYF 2009. was getting rather upset that i "wasted" 5 months of my life, then i figured there was no point being so hard on myself. yeah, basically i was just behaving like a stupid idiot. generally along that line.

was trying to plan out my study schedule for the month, since prelim one is on the 29th. but i never did well with a study plan, so i don't think it would work much. just kept doing amath, math, chem and physics because im in the mood for wrecking my brain. apparently i have enough of essays after my ss and english paper. been going about doing the same things at the same time for the past few days, my study routine is getting rather boring. i think i should manage my time better, and cut down on the usage of the computer. really think i would feel better. :D

tonight is the acjc choir concert. gonna meet alwyn and the others at the esplanade, since i refuse to leave the house so early. been feeling rather introverted these days, let's just hope reserved elena is a good sign. im really expecting a good performance today, hope i wouldnt be disappointed.

all the best for 'o' level chinese guys (though your paper should be over soon). toodles ~

2009-05-30T19:20:00.002+08:00

#557. yesterday marked the official end of term 2 and semester 1, and the beginning of the June holidays. which would apparently not be a holiday for any of us, since we probably have to mug our guts out for the upcoming prelim one. plus the darn timed practices that are scheduled in the holidays. if i sound grumpy, im not. just constantly reminding myself that i need to study and work hard. i have to make my prelim one a good one. (:

finally decided to go out today. i havent done so for like an entire month, i mean during the weekends. went to orchard with my mum, and "admired" the massive crowds everywhere, as a result of the Great Singapore Sale. oh well, im sure this is a good sign, since the consumer market has to recover in order for the economic crisis to be over. let's hope that everyone can have more money to spare. stared with strong desire at lots of pretty things, but only bought a wallet. i found it expensive but its prettaye, so i can live with it. i still love shopping. swear i will save up money and go buy clothes at the end of 'o' levels. i so need to get a new wardrobe. or clothes. or do my hair. or whatever, they all need money anyway. (:

still in BOF crazy mood. yi jung and jihoo still rocks. time for some korean dramas, toodles ~

2009-05-28T19:34:00.002+08:00

#556. yes, i am still crazy over boys over flowers. am still trying to find a photo that will make huiling agree that they are handsome. yeahs, but having a little difficulty i presume. though i really like this picture. kim hyun joong looks very cool in this. and in shades. man i think im in love. or guy-crazy. either way, im totally insane. :D

whitespace today and the vp reminded us about some dream-catcher thingy that we apparently did last year. i don't ever remember doing it. and then now all the sec 4 express students are assigned to do a career portfolio on their draem career. as much as i think no one is going to take it seriously (i wouldn't want to also), i really want to find out what my dream career is. i really do. shall go through it seriously when im bored.

oh, and i got my ipod back. finally. its been like more than a month. i could just die without it. no matter how, home sweet home, my favorite green object. you are slim, beautiful, and hold the most beautiful music to me in my entire life. you never fail to brighten up my day, and mean more to me than so many other things that uses electricity. i love you!

went to eat pepper lunch with the clique after school. celebration! all this makes elena a happy girl now. get well soon again filbert! toodles ~

2009-05-27T20:16:00.002+08:00

#555. happy birthday to huiling! you look very poshed in this photo, trust me my dear. (: well better than all the handsome guys i've posted yesterday. according to huiling, she does not find that handsome. i think the whole world has enough of my crazy frenzy over boys over flowers, so i will try my best not to give any comments about it.

went to celebrate her birthday at amk pizza hut with her and the two valeries. ate and laughed like crazy over stupid things, as usual again. like lobster eyes. man they are attractive. arent they huiling? (inside joke :D) pizza hut is not as expensive as i expected, but still ouch, when you are so broke like me. anyways, im glad that you liked your birthday present. credits to lihui and theodore for the effort. may you have a blessed and wonderful sixteenth birthday. i hope to celebrate your seventeenth with you too! :D

saw the holiday lesson schedule on MLG. how screwed up. i have like 4 hours break in between lessons, so its like im wasting half of my life in school. and my second week is flooded with nothing but math and chemistry. im okay with math, but an entire week of chemistry, i aint no fan of that apparently. -.- cursed and swore at the screwed up school for awhile. then remembered about my ipod. cursed and swore at the screwed up school system also.

speaking of which, some idiot woman was staring at me on the train with a disapproving look. felt like telling that bloody person to keep her eyes to herself. come on, im sure i didnt do anything to deserve that kinda insulting scrutiny early in the morning. will kill myself if i see her tomorrow. get well soon filbert. toodles ~

2009-05-26T18:48:00.005+08:00

DISCLAIMER!
handsome guys overloaded in following post.
elena sounds like a total crazy fan.
if you cant stand either, don't read. :D

#554. it's the boys over flowers craze! this fantastic korean drama has caused quite a craze in the whole of Asia, including Singapore of course. was listening to the OST for the past three days, and they have great songs. yeaps, great show with great songs and handsome guys. definitely worth a watch. im getting so obsessed with the show that im actually going to post pictures here. :D

i really want to know if kim hyun joong can play the violin. either way, he looks too cool doing it. and kim bum looks funny in the picture. funny in a cute way. gahh, i think im a little guy crazy these days.

i really like this picture. anyways, the show has the whole *blinkblink* effect all over it. like WOW they are so darn rich kinda thing. and that is totally cool.

kim bum is handsome! :D as in VERY!

although ji hoo is cool, he just cant be compared to hua ze lei in meteor garden. still, think he carries that dreamy and princey charm that is required of the role, so i have to admit he is pretty suitable. either ways, those who have not watched the show, why not give it a try and go watch it?

i swear if such wonderful guys in the world exist, all the girls in the world would just melt and die.

2009-05-25T15:53:00.001+08:00

#553. today was my long awaited ss prelim paper. humms, lets just say that i wasnt really expecting much from myself since i didnt study as hard as i wished i would. i thought the paper was okay, and was pretty relieved that i managed to finish it. but still aint confident. shall continue keeping my fingers crossed for this. and my english paper tomorrow too.

went behind school to eat lunch with clique. was talking about stupid things like handsome guys and lambs (not that they have much link to each other). laughed so hard i couldnt sit still on the chair. came to a conclusion that i should stop laughing so much after eating, because someday im really going to puke from laughing. but had a nice time. and i feel so screwed up that i havent got my ipod back! its just so hard to find the teacher! urgh. darn the school.

shall find something conducive to do in the midst of my "resting" for english tomorrow. toodles ~

2009-05-22T19:12:00.002+08:00

#552. did not blog for the entire week did i? anyways, i shall summarize the most interesting events that happened over the week.

PHYSICS SPA THREE
was much easier than i thought it would be thankfully. finished it really quickly and spent the rest of the time sitting around doing nothing. got pissed off at teachers and their slow counting, but generally it was okay. im kissing goodbye to physics spa! and still feeling incredibly intimidated by the subject. believe me, i still think i will screw it up. :/ btw, the picture of free fall is supposed to present physics. :D

GOT BACK SS TIMED PRACTICE
i did very well! not as well as i wanted, but well enough. really happy, but that means im under even greater pressure for doing well for my SS prelim on monday. trying my very best to study hard for ss, but its just not going into my head like i want it to. not a good feeling either. but i'll going to try my best, for one of my most confident subjects. :D

was supposed to get my ipod back together but the DM wasnt free. damn. aint gonna wait for so long to get it back. shall go find him on monday. pissed off. urgh.

had fun during lunch with the two valeries going crazy over tv guys. humms. great time guys eh? study for SS and stop watching tv! toodles ~

2009-05-19T18:54:00.000+08:00

#550. just wanted to say that my blog is still alive!

been spammed with lots of timed tests and upcoming exams these days, so am kinda exhausted. trying my best to study but am too distracted by tv. re-watching meteor garden and getting really addicted. shall try very hard not to let it affect my studies. tomorrow is my physics spa, so im trying to study it now. shows how busy i am does it not?

oh, and there's going to be a choir camp in june! FUN FUN FUN, cant wait to torture people with the games (oops, i really mean interact and bond with each other :D)

its ss and english prelim next week! MUG! and yeaps, its two days to my ipod! I miss you so much dear! tudos ~

2009-05-17T19:18:00.002+08:00

#549.

A VERY UNPRODUCTIVE WEEKEND!

i did absolutely nothing useful. except watching lots of tv. :D
but im pretty confident i wun screw up my tests that badly.
brought the wrong phone out, saw the wrong person, ate the wrong food.
today appears to be so wrong.

anyways, i cant find anything else to say. toodles ~

2009-05-15T19:28:00.001+08:00

#548. i came to a conclusion that my blog is starting to look really boring when its flooded with nothing but school stuff. will try my best to make it look more interesting, though its pretty hard, since im so bored with life myself. got back my english timed practice and felt that i screwed it up. i should start learning how to do paper 2, because i totally suck at it.

most interesting thing of the day is when i went to bras basah with lihui, chris, madeline and jeffrey. ate @ pastamania and got amazed at all the noobs who never ate it before. my heart aches, but the apple crumple pizza was so worth the money. and the trip was so worth it. managed to get lots of assessment books at a really cheap price, though it was hard to find those in good conditions. i think we managed to swipe all the good ones. and i can trade with lihui! so worth the money. now all i have to do is make sure that i start doing them. yeaps, im getting all psyched up about revision. shall mug hard for the weekends!

lets all work hard towards the upcoming prelim guys! toodles ~

2009-05-13T16:39:00.000+08:00

#547. watched a cartoon during chapel today, about a group of crazy people in a crazy town who were fanatics over colored noses. the lesson to be learnt is that God created us in his image, and that we should embrace our own appearance instead of landing ourselves in an endless pursuit of fitting in. yeah, a pretty cool lesson learnt, considering the stupidity of the cartoon. :D let me see, the rest of the day was pretty much a bore, nothing really to talk about.

went to northpoint to eat with val after school. my favorite mac's happy meal, i hvent had one for a long long time. was talking about many things, and watching oogle at anime guys. yeah, been doing it for eternity already, so im pretty used to it. im anime-guy-crazy. :D had fun talking to huiling and her about sec 1 days during recess today. somehow memories of so many things appear to be very vague to me, though some rather vivid. sometimes i really wish i don't remember them, because they are nothing to be proud of.

had a talk with val about relationships. generally, im still in the total cynical belief about it, and that i do not have faith in any sort of relationships at this age. as much as this is a personal opinion, i urge all my loved ones to consider their motives of going into a relationship, or being in one, because many a times, you need more than just faith to survive. and love. and all the other things that people tend to promise each other. as much as it is a beautiful thing (yes even i can't deny that), the pain you may suffer from it is not beautiful at all. and the hurt you remember for hurting others, is truly one that i don't want to see any of you go through. i really don't.

oops, i've apparently landed myself in a reverie that will get me emotional again. better stop all this emotional talks. toddles ~

2009-05-11T13:17:00.002+08:00

#546. just posting some random pictures that i've been getting on my facebook, but did not find any time to post them yet. a random thought. after today, its gonna be a long time until the next weekday "leave". im depressed. :/ shall enjoy today as much as i can. :D

toodles ~

2009-05-10T18:59:00.002+08:00

#545. here's wishing all the wonderful mothers of the world a happy mother's day! my mother is always against the idea of me putting her photos on the internet, so i held back the urge to do so. here's an adorable picture of a mother chasing her young child. remember guys, your mother is always chasing after you, and keeping a watchful eye on you. because they love you. and they always will. :D

went for family gathering with relatives @ sakura somerset. ate and ate until i felt so bloated, then took a nice car ride home on kelvin korkor's car. he drives so fast its amazing. and cool. hardly sits on anything that that's fast. then again that's probably because im always sitting on buses/mrts. hardly studied at all today, so i have to mug tomorrow. sorry i cant go out lihui.

okay, its a really short post today. toodles ~

2009-05-09T20:55:00.001+08:00

#544. today is vesak day, so happy vesak day to all buddhists! my parents went hysterical when we forgot to have a vegeterian breakfast. its supposed to be a tradition on vesak day. pretty interesting to see such great reactions early in the morning. spent my whole morning cursing and swearing at amath. i am incredibly confused about tangent and normal. what the hell are they anyway? oh, and are you supposed to get the gradient of the tangent or the normal when you differentiate the equation of the curve? these are the questions that have been annoying me the whole day. i swear i have to sort this out before my amath test.

managed to study quite a bit today, so im pretty proud of myself. did my english essay, and found a website that shows the true effects of world poverty. the website flashes a picture and name of someone every three and a half seconds, because every 3.5 seconds, someone in a part of the world will die from poverty. the statistics i managed to found today were pretty heartbreaking. i truly hope the world can see pass all the economic crisis and H1N1 flu problems, and see for themselves, how much one third of the world population is suffering.

had a good talk wtih huiling about horrid memories. things that i don't like to remember of, and how i wish i could forget all about them. yet somehow i know i cant. i hate it. i really do. anyways, didnt had a nice talk with ya for quite a while dear. thanks a lot. oh, and i hope theodore is having fun at KL! :D

mother's day tomorrow. family gathering with relatives. hooray. toodles ~ (shall start spelling the word the correct way)

2009-05-08T20:20:00.002+08:00

#543. i've been in this crazy x-men mood lately ever since my conversation with chris and the others about the wolverine origins movie. was watching x-men evolution just now, so i thought i would post a picture of it. pretty neat isnt it? xmen is really nice, and theodore says im getting addicted. anyways, you guys should watch it too. mutants are pretty cool. even though they don't exist. :D

speaking of which, im still thinking of how to write a nice expository text on "the role of science to make a better world". zero inspirations and zero mood to do any research. the haresh sharma talk yesterday was pretty fun. not exactly useful, but i had fun. and we managed to get ourselves an autograph from the playwright! that is cool, and makes staying back pretty worthwhile.

went to northpoint to eat with theodore after school, and started laughing at virtually everything again. came to a conclusion today that i laugh alot. at people. at things. but its good for health, is it not? yeahs had a good time. and i finished quite a bit of my homework already, so i can enjoy my long weekend. tudos ~

i hate seeing you.
because i never know how to react.

2009-05-06T19:07:00.002+08:00

#542. yet another boring day of school. was not in a great mood in the morning, which was sensed by everyone apparently. i still have no idea why people say that im scary when im quiet. humms, this kinda means that im incredibly noisy usually, which so does not sound like a compliment. no wonder im always so exhausted by the end of a school day, i play around way too much. had a bad night yesterday, which kinda contributed to my bad mood. thanks for listening to me theodore. and sorry if i made anyone upset today. (:

nothing very interesting happened, except that i finally went for my detention class. before that had hell of a big scolding, then reported reluctantly for DC. still don't see the point of doing things that i did not do wrong, but i have to blame my carelessness. either way, i came to a conclusion that i absolutely detest adults. they always think they are right, they never ever listen to you, even if they try to be democratic about things. they always treat youths like retards. if i have to grow up to be like one of those adults that i've been seeing these days, i really rather just stay sixteen for the rest of my life.

my second conclusion: school rules are supposed to be bloody unfair to make people afraid of them, so that they would not commit any offences. the 1st part i understand, the 2nd not really. either way, its just bloody unfair, and we have to accept that don't we? and i repeat, i cant wait to get out of this school.

just complaining about school is a freaking waste of post. school and adults are not worth this. tudos ~

i really dunno.

2009-05-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

#541. today is day two of week seven. shall report about two unlucky things that happened today.

number one: when we were trying to save the file on our lit wikia, theodore and i accidentally erased my work, which is 2 whole long pages of analysis on themes. felt like strangling myself. don't think i can come up with anything now than what i had in the morning. it was like a spurt of an inspiration, erased in a split second. yes, mrs tan it hurts like mad. talk about OUCH.

number one: i spilled my bowl of macaroni during recess in front of like everyone, and everyone was staring at me. ignoring the embarrassment (which is HARD to ignore), i didnt had a bowl of macaroni in return, because it was the last bowl! felt like killing myself yet again. i think im just pure unlucky today. i sure dun like the 5th of may.

since im so unlucky today, i shadnt study! okay maybe i will later. oh yeahs math timed test was a breeze. :D thrilled about that at least. okay time to slack or "roll around" (inside joke). tudos ~

2009-05-03T11:18:00.010+08:00

#540. as usual, it is taking eternity for me to upload all the pictures. and to caption them. anyways, i should just stop complaining and start doing them now.

first up is the pictures i've taken when i was walking all the way from area C to G. they were supposed to serve as a motivation for me to keep walking, but the lack of hunks around did made me pretty disappointed. okay jokes aside, the view was pretty great. :D and nice to see Singaporeans actually having fun at the beach. oh, and i saw anadee! :D

when i finally reached the bbq pit, i started taking random pictures of people. kinda like a service, since im no good at bbq-ing. here is one of yvonne looking stupid. :D

voila to my masterpiece. played with chun huen's broken kite string and tied it around filbert. he looks really good in this picture until you see what is around his body. MUAHAHAHAS. :D

hardworking people starting the fire. me and yvonne were being total nuisances playing with charcoal. :D

here are the nicest pictures i've taken the whole day, when i went to the beach to play with yvonne, chuanhsin and pohshen. they look totally cool, and natural, since chuanhsin snapped shots of us when we didnt notice. cool! i should go to the beach more often! :D

this pretty writing is by chuanhsin. :D

had fun sitting on the rocks with theodore, chuanhsin and pohshen watching the sun set. and chuanhsin's relatives (aka all the cargo ships) go by.

as much as i hate flash, i took lots of pictures with it anyway. come on, i just had to take pictures on this wonderful day! :D here's the shade gang.

fourfaith rocks! :D

still sick. and tired. time to mug. tudos ~

2009-05-02T19:26:00.003+08:00

#548. yesterday was labor day. happy belated labor day everyone! i shall blog about the class gathering first before i post any photos. met theodore, chuanhsin, pohshen and filbert at woodlands, then took a long bus ride to parkway parade. had fun being a public nuisance with the others singing aloud on the bus. got real confused when we were trying to find the way to east coast, but eventually we got there.

the most UNFUN part of the day came when i had to walk from area C to G ALL THE WAY. no one could take a double bike and refused to learn how to ride one. so i walked. and walked. and walked. was carrying some stupid plastic bag of prawns in my hand, which apparently changed color under the heat. too oblivious to notice. well everyone else was staring at it, so i bet i looked like a total fool. i told myself that if i was not in a bad mood by the time i reach the BBQ pit, i must be crazy. but i wasnt. apparently, im crazy. yes i exercised an incredible amount yesterday from all the walking.

it was fun, eating and playing with everyone. johnny caused a big boo-boo when he took filbert's wallet and did not realize it. earned himself a good bashing from the others. went back on terb father's van to yishun. thanks for the ride. thanks to people like ter, audrey and esther for making this possible. four faith rocks. will post pics tml. im sick and exhausted. tudos ~

2009-04-30T18:52:00.003+08:00

#538. whitespace first period was a talk on direct poly admission. i have no interest in pursuing a poly education, so did not interest me much. mr toh still wants to give me dc for "not signing in my attendance". shall go find OM to solve the problem. i see no reason for serving detention for something that is purely stupid and not my fault. im sorry but im just stubborn in this bloody way.

nothing incredibly wonderful happened in school, but we went to jurong sports complex after school to watch the national finals basketball championship. pleased to say that PHS had won! whee we totally rock. yeah, and happy birthday to my fave friendly giant (believe me because i only know one. :D) happy birthday russel! and congratulations for the great win! :D went back to school feeling absolutely exhausted, and rushed through my history assignment. now sitting in front of the computer rotting.

i cant wait for my class gathering tomorrow, even though im so worn out. happy happy time to bully filbert! whee. :D tudos guys ~

i don't know.
and i wouldn't know.

2009-04-29T19:17:00.002+08:00

#537.

CONFESSIONS

i'm really awfully tired of studying.
i have zero motivation for my studies.
i have no idea what i want to do with my life.
half the time i have no idea why im so grumpy
half the time i have no idea what im doing
im really stressed out and i don't know why
i cant seem to express myself properly.
i want to blog to make myself feel better, but
its not working.
i don't believe i can do well for my studies anymore.
i know i have to work so much harder.
but im just too tired.
way too tired.

believe me, studies aint the only things in my head.
where does a tired soul find rest?
i really wanna know.

2009-04-28T19:36:00.002+08:00

#536. the internet is incredibly fast today, so kinda makes me feel better now. sorry i sounded so grumpy yesterday, i argued with practically the whole darn world. and under a lot of pressure these days. sorry if my words tend to offend anyone. (:

today is hcl prelim one examination. as usual, chinese papers are incredibly boring. i just think im no fan of sitting there writing chinese words. they are not as easy to write as ABC ya know. and it was hard to crap out a good compo. according to huiling, teachers say that hcl must write at least 7-8 pages of compo. and i doubt that is possible, given the time limit. maybe i can train for it? nah, too lazy. lazy lazy me. paper 2 was hard, and damn hard. didnt expect my chinese teacher to be able to come up with something of that calibre. not that he's not capable, i just didnt knew he thought we were capable enough to do it. either way, screwed up. bless myself. (:

went to eat lunch with vals, huiling and kezia at j8. was listening to them talking about ghost stories while i enjoy my pepper lunch. trust me, pepper lunch can brighten up anyone's day. you should try it too! got real freaked out and teared. fascinating. -.- went back to school for zoo trip, to find out that it was postponed because particular annoying people decided that the rain was too dangerous. okay i dun deny that it is dangerous, but im just exactly thrilled about the fact that we wasted 2 darn hours of our lives waiting. and im getting detention for NOT signing in my attendance (which i swear i did). note to self: certain things in life just sucks. blame it on people who are not good at doing what they are supposed to do. generally, im still pissed off that im getting into some much deep shit this year for bullshit that i had done. bullshit = nothing. screw life and people.

i shall stop wasting my post and complaining about things that are not worth it. not feeling well, but i still have to mug my chem. tudos ~

2009-04-27T19:21:00.000+08:00

#535. today is not a happy day. because:

(1) i was bloody pissed off about bloody stupid things that are not even worth me being pissed off about
(2) i care too much about shit issues and people sometimes
(3) i should stop giving a damn about half the world
(4) i have freaking bad temper management.
(5) i hate myself.

life sucks today okay? it does. tudos ~

2009-04-25T19:19:00.008+08:00

DISCLAIMER: PHOTOS OVERLOADED! uploaded only about two-thirds of the photos that i have, but the rest are on facebook. :D

so bored before the parade that i started taking random pictures. okay not random, POSING for pictures. :D

marching in of the supporting contingents. we ran up and down trying to get the best views for the best pictures. exhausted. am once again amazed at how UG can stand under the sun for so long without feeling faint. bewildered.

a nice close up shot of the GOH. cool right? the sec 4s look amazing. :D

flag bearers! i see horngjye, filbert, yijie and huiling! they look too cool in their uniform. so jealous that im not in UG. then again glad that im not the one standing there like a rock and not moving. WAY too hard for me to do. i was incredibly angry when my camera ran out of batt during the tossing of the berets (did i spell it correctly?)

azli and isaac. long time no see isaac. :D continual samples of pictures that i've taken of all the UG people around me. they really look cool. how many times have i said that already?

horngjye, franco and huiling. a very nice picture that i liked a lot. NPCC! :D

my favorite girls from fourfaith'09. rock on gals. :D

horngjye looking super retarded. looks to me like he was trying to imitate sir stamford raffles, but apparently failed. then again, it made a fantastic spastic photo. oops! :D

huiling trying to be taller than horngjye. i dun want to comment. LOL!

IM NOT TRYING, I AM TALLER THAN FILBERT! :D

oh btw, yijie looked really handsome. (:

my SISTERS, including filbert. i mean he's one of my sisters too. :D

my fave pet squirtle CHRISTOPHER!

my favorite group of people forever. i love chris, huiling, filbert, lihui, and my two valeries. :D

LIHUI!

madeline. :D

we went to the parade square and started taking photos in the dark. i like this one. :D

trying to be artistic and looking at the stars.

ermms. unglam alert!

HUILING IS ZAI. :D

PET MONKEY!

thanks for the fantastic time guys, and thanks for the invite. may all my UG friends had a great POP, and i hope that these photos will be fantastic memories for you all like it had been for me. somehow despite the half an hour i spent on this, i feel kinda satisfied. God bless guys. tudos ~

2009-04-25T18:31:00.001+08:00

#533. was trying my best to find a picture that represents chem in a good light, or at least a light that i could appreciate. then i came across this picture that says "flyer of chemistry". looks pretty cool isnt it? intriguing. as much as the picture is, my chem spa two wasn't. my burette leaked, i used up all my solutions, and i cannot seem to get my molar mass correct. generally, i screwed up my paper. i feel like strangling myself. im praying so darn hard that i will not fail my second SPA, or there goes my 'o' level chem paper. some kinda stupid theory that physics spa is darn easy and chem always darn hard. urgh. screw the system. :/

went to northpoint with esther because i had to go to the library. amused by esther's less-than-enthusiastic response to books. come on, there are actually people in this world who disliked reading? i think its fun, honestly. and a cheap hobby too. actually my ONLY cheap hobby. walked around eating food, and got totally embarrassed. we proclaimed that the bottle of coke we bought cannot be opened, and esther went back to ask for a refund. until some crazy auntie opened it IN HER FACE. talk about embarrassing. LOL. but had a fun time. thanks for accompanying me esther. :D cant wait for class gathering next week.

back to mugging. will post POP pictures tonight. look forward to it, because theres A LOT. tudos ~

2009-04-23T19:24:00.002+08:00

#532. congratulations to st. gabs vocal ensemble for their sustained gold award! woke up from a nightmare when i received an sms from mash and dez, and i was like totally NOT shocked. never really did expect anything less from st. gabs anyway, but job well done guys! you all done ms yee proud! singout choir rocks. :D

today was a slacky boring day, like most tuesdays are. went to school feeling incredibly lethargic, then had a discussion about the big "wind" (cant call it a storm if there wasnt any) brewing last night. honestly i was stuck in my own happy world so much that i didnt notice it. some discussion about a possible hurricane in singapore, then i started to get freak out. before we came up with even more crappy answers. generally a fun discussion. lit was a bore because i cant seem to stand prose, and ASSIGNMENTS. TWO PROSE ASSIGNMENTS. lovely. and i got back my test. didn't do as well as i expected. screw life. at least i passed my math. in general, a normal day where i get to complain about nonsense and be grateful for something.

since there was no remedial, sat around eating biscuits with the two valeries after school. talking about random things. val kindly informed me that there was a woman who married a dolphin. talk about love. and other random stories that totally made me roll my eyes. i really wonder what love is, but i sure would want to find a true one. at least once in my life. (: then again, just once will be enough.

combined UG POP tml. cant wait. tudos ~

2009-04-22T20:04:00.002+08:00

#531. was hit with fantastic news early in the morning. managed to get my ipod confiscated in the morning when i walked into school with her. beyond upset. like i've been doing it for four bloody years of my life at phs and its the first bloody time i got caught with it. like what the freaking hell is wrong with the school? or my luck actually. i promised to flood my post with vulgarities, but decided to be civilized after all. even though im borrowing one from filbert, believe me, i don't feel better AT ALL. darn pissed off. i cant live three hours without my ipod. i should kill myself now. i really should. :/

school was hell of a bore, as usual, and i'm getting deprived from naps since mr toh is forcing us to stay back every single day AFTER remedial for even more chem lectures. sure chem spa is coming up, but i do want to take a break in the afternoon. sure hope i don't screw my second one up, or i should just kiss my chem paper goodbye.

terb managed to cheer me up a little with some hot class gossip. never realized that i was that oblivious in class. anyways, cant wait for the class outing and the class tee to come out! tudos ~

im crazy or something.
but i miss you.

2009-04-21T19:00:00.003+08:00

#530. didnt blog yesterday because i was mugging for my math test today. lets just say that im still a total sucker at all the stupid topics like statistics, and doing a 1.5 hr math paper in the afternoon is not very conducive. sure hope things will be okay. (:

sucky weather today, because a storm roared in the morning. was listening to val talk about personality test results during physics, and i just realized that there are actually people in this world who like stormy days. what's so nice about rain roaring and thunder striking everywhere? too scary for my taste apparently. got real bored during the rest of the day, but was thrilled when ms chionh came back! WE MISSED YOU! english was a hell boring without her. and we are going to the zoo next week! cant wait. (:

humms ... what else? i missed PE today because i felt like it, but stayed back to listen to mr toh nag about chem spa on saturday. still think SPA is a total waste of life's essence, but had a good laugh at stupid things, such as BLOOD PRESSURE. right my dear pet monkey (inside joke alert :D). anyways, congrats to CO for their silver and guzheng for their GOLD! phs performing arts totally rock.

time for a little facebook-ing before i go back to mug my physics. tudos ~

the things that i want so much to happen
yet i don't ever dare to dream about

2009-04-19T19:29:00.002+08:00

#527. a photo taken on friday after results show, courtesy to alwyn's blog. pretty isnt it? we look fantastic. and as kuekjing put it, ironic that we look so happy when there is a gold with honors choir behind us. proven, and see for yourself, the uvphs spirit. we rock guys. (:

been trying to mug the whole day, but didn't really accomplish as much as i expected to. too many tests lined up for the upcoming weeks, and my mother is bugging me to visit the doctor soon because im still a little sick. nah, i don't feel like missing school if i have to make up for my tests. tiring. besides, there are things to look forward to next week. for instance, the combined UG POP on friday. cant wait to see huiling and filbert graduate. whee. everyone seems to be stepping down from their CCAs. just realized today that next week is going to be pretty empty without choir. and to think i've been complaining about having to go for practices. sighs. empty and bored.

too many things to do. and im in no mood to study right now. yeaps, time for some slacker's business. tudos ~

i don't know what he's after.
but he's so beautiful.
such a beautiful disaster.

2009-04-19T19:27:00.000+08:00

Beautiful Disaster
by Kelly Clarkson

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as dumb as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

Chorus:
Oh when I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

His magical myth
As strong as with I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Repeat Chorus

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He's soft to the touch
But afraid at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still leaves more than I can take

Repeat Chorus

He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

2009-04-18T21:09:00.000+08:00

#525. woke up early feeling dead tired. met theodore at yck interchange to head to st. nicks. somehow we ended up at somewhere weird, and walked quite a long way. the seminar was a total boring waste of my life. did absolutely nothing useful. okay the unseen seminar was pretty useful, though mrs tan did teach a bulk of it already. and the free food part did cheer me up at a little, though it wasnt that great after all.

the biggest waste of my life came when we did the student forum, where we were supposed to sit in a circle and discuss about a poem. a really complex poem by robert frost, and i was in no mood to analyze it, so i just sat there and looked dead, staring at all the other school people. i refused to interact anyone, since im no big fan of any particular schools there. laughed at the losers i saw on the way, and cursed at people who pissed me off, but other than that, i decided that i really wasted three hours of my life.

went to northpoint burger king to try to study, but not much done, because i was feeling too tired. finished up my homework then strolled around the place, before visiting the library. managed to borrow some materials to keep myself entertained, and went home for a nap. woke up and been studying since then, feeling annoyed at the stupid chem question which made no sense to me, and differentiation. i know how to do it but i cant get the answers right. annoyed. shall straighten things out tml. time for a little bit more mugging before bed. tudos ~

2009-04-17T21:35:00.001+08:00

#524. today marks the end of my syf journey, and im very glad to say that we have ended it well. uvphs has clinched the silver award in the SYF central judging 2009! no words can be used to express my happiness at that moment. though i was really a nervous wreck who broke into tears several times in the afternoon, i felt so confident when i was on stage, because i could feel God's grace on us. at that moment, i really felt like all i had to do was to give my very best, and everything will turn out all right. that was a magical moment, and it really sounded like music. the blend, the harmony, i felt like uvphs again. for so long, i lost that feeling. yet today, i found it again. it was amazing. magical. and today, i realized it.

with all the hard work that we had gone through, we finally attained what we always wanted, to show others and ourselves that we are better than they presume we will be. the unhappy moments were painful, the tears we shed were countless, yet when i saw all the smiles and tears of joy during the results show, i decided everything was worth it. it was worth seeing everyone so happy now, because we finally got it. we finally got what we deserved. God, you were watching weren't you? you were giving us your support all this time. i thank you. i really do. (:

im exhausted now, and i cant find any more words to express myself. i shall blog again when i seem to be calmer? i love you uvphs! (: tudos ~

2009-04-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

#523. tomorrow is the big day. the big day of uvphs's syf. the last day of the SATB mixed choir central judging. im a total nervous wreck now, and i cant seem to think straight. broke down into tears twice today because i was so anxious. so stressed up, and so unsure about what to do. i tried my best to remember to pack my things, but i have a feeling i've definitely missed something out. and all the crying has made my head too heavy to think. :/

i really wonder what we will get. somehow i don't have a great feeling to it, but i feel a certain security, because i know God is on our side. God has saw all our efforts for the past months, and he had been a real part of our journey. i trust that God knows, and God will help us, in the final lap tomorrow. im sorry if i had been such a bitch to everyone during practices, but i really want the best for all of us, because i know we can get so much more. may the results tomorrow be satisfactory, and deserving. as much as i know there's nothing much we can do now, im comforted, because i've seen the true efforts of UVPHS that i've always wanted to see. come on guys, i know we can make it.

have a great rest my dears, see you all tomorrow. may my next post be a happy one. love guys. tudos ~

2009-04-15T19:53:00.002+08:00

#522. morning practice again today, changed the location to the field. thought we sounded really soft and everything, but i guess our standard is pretty much there. there as in not fantastic, but nothing much can really be touched on i suppose. chapel was a really nice and powerful session today. had a sharing about a girl's journal and her journey of knowing God. was really meaningful, and truly touched me. (:

school was a usual boring day of nonsense, which really bored me. something that really perked me up was the incredible good laugh i had with val and filbert about stupid thing. like me being the tallest in the family. please note that the above statement is FICTION and WILL NEVER be true. i sincerely pray that my brother will not read this post. :/ masheyr totally amused me just now when he told me he saw someone at serangoon central who looked like me. as if i had nothing better to do. or does someone in this world actually look that much like me? well, thought it was pretty amusing.

countdown to syf is 2 days. im starting to get nervous, and feeling incredibly freaked out. alwyn is so not helping when he spends every english period harping on and on about syf. anyways, let me share with you guys the wonderful lyrics of the great song i heard at chapel today. the song is called "mighty to save", and i really like the chorus.

Saviour you can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

God really loves us. i believe in it. with God's grace, i know we will make it through friday. tudos ~

2009-04-14T20:40:00.002+08:00

#521. am currently incredibly pissed off at myself because i cant find my ss textbook. and i was trying to do my ss homework for the past half an hour. according to theodore i so did not leave it in ms seh's room. then where the hell did i leave it? grr. am once again amazed at how i can lose things so easily. and i almost lost my math textbook like less than a week ago. ARGH. im driving myself crazy.

had morning practice, and i was almost late. sometimes i really feel like strangling myself for refusing to be darn thick-skinned like half of the world and squeeze into the stupid train. well, im sorry for being such a civilized polite person (incredulous but its true :D). anyways, today was a day filled with pissed off emotions. got accused by a teacher that i was trying to hack into someone's locker, when all i was attempting to do is to open up my OWN. don't ask me why the darn hell i cannot open my own locker, i just cant. proclaimed that i will so take a picture of me OPENING MY LOCKER SUCCESSFULLY before i graduate from phs. this is an oath that i'm so going to keep to. andandand, i don't think i screwed up my lit test! :D

choir practice in the afternoon was okay. just incredibly tiring. amazed at my vulnerability at the word syf, because i cant really seem to control my tears when these unhappy emotions are aroused in me. and believe me, they are easily aroused. its 3 days to syf. every mistake that we make is an alarming sign to me. God, please help us make it true. May our efforts be honorable in your eyes.

exhausted, shall go and read kite runner before bed. THANKS FOR LENDING ME THE BOOK AUDREY! I LOVE YOU! tudos ~

2009-04-13T19:25:00.002+08:00

#520. tired. everyday i say that. school seems to be an endless cycle of going through the motions and feeling absolutely worn out at the end of the day. i have lots of homework staring at my face, but i cant seem to find the energy to do. i have a lit test on the whole play tomorrow, and im just not confident enough to rest. i'm trying to relax by playing pet society now, when all i actually feel like doing is sleeping. i realize that i do the exact same things every single day for past 4 months. never much a fan of routines, this is killing me. i was feeling so suffocated during chem lesson again (which believe me never failed to piss me off) and just wanting to breakaway. away from all the boring things. :/

its 4 days to syf and im too worn out to feel anxious anymore. somehow all i want is for it to be over, so that i can concentrate on my studies. i have some stupid belief that the faster i start mugging, the faster the 'o's will be over. because i cant find any strength to do things anymore. just too worn out. not sick enough to miss school, but sick enough to feel exhausted every day. been flooding my mind with thoughts of unhappy events from the past few years. sometimes unhappy things just come to you, no matter how much you want to run away. yet surprisingly, i feel stronger than before. perhaps its God's way of telling me that i can make it through all of this. i don't have a great feeling about the upcoming syf, but i know for sure, i won't live to regret it.

2009-04-12T16:46:00.002+08:00

#519. its easter sunday today, happy easter guys! and happy birthday to jessica and angie! (: i was kinda praying last year that my birthday would fall on easter. i love bunnies, but apparently my wish didnt come true. oh well, today is still a happy day.

been trying to psycho myself with happy thoughts today but it isnt working. had lots of whacky weird dreams last night. not exactly what i would call nightmares, but definitely whacky. i was so worn out by the multiple dreams i had i felt like i didnt sleep at all. my eyes are swollen from exhaustion, and my whole body is aching because im sick. still not recovering yet, and in this kinda queer state where you cant figure out if you are sick or not. just tired, and no energy for anything. especially studying. then again i may just be trying to find an excuse not to hit the books.

really no mood to study anything these days, and im flooded with tests next week. cant be good news. pretty confident i wun screw up ss tomorrow, but lit is a total different story. i HAVE to do well for lit. i just have to, but i cant even bring myself to read the text. someone should just take a knife and force me to study or something. wait happy thoughts happy thoughts ... IM TRYING TO BE HAPPY. (:

tudos ~

2009-04-10T20:31:00.001+08:00

#518. shall blog a quick one because im really exhausted. today is good friday, the day of salvation, when christ died on the cross for us. it is truly a day for us to remember the good deeds, and to be thankful for this salvation. i pray that everyone will have a great day today. personally i didnt, because im officially sick. been having a bad cough for the past few days, and today it hit home. or maybe i just let it hit home, because i rested virtually the whole day.

i took a 4 hour nap today, consecutively. amazing isnt it? amazed at the power of drowsy medicines, and at my own napping skills. was supposed to be studying lit heavily today, but im only through act two, and three essay questions. not going very far if you ask me. im just not in the mood to study anything, and whenever i try to force myself, i just cant concentrate. too stressed up i guess. i just hope that i can manage to get SOMETHING into my brain before the test on tuesday.

choir practice tomorrow, mr nah is coming. hope everything will be okay. countdown to syf: 7 days. tudos guys ~

2009-04-09T21:48:00.002+08:00

#517. started off the day with whitespace period, where we were supposed to write our own testimonials. though im still perpetually pissed off about the fact that i have to do it myself, i had lots of fun trying to crap nice things about the unnice things of myself. had fun trying to think of crappy things i guess. and laughing outside the class window about things we shouldnt. lit is starting to bore me becaues we're still stuck at prose, and im no fan of chunks of words that i have to analyze. decided that though poems are harder to understand, they are WAY more interesting than prose.

today is maundy thursday, which is why our school had our maundy thursday singspiration. was a very interesting experience, if i want to put in that way. found certain things about it rather disturbing, but i still like the feeling of coming under the presence of God. by the way, Maundy Thursday means something like "command thursday" when, Jesus gave the final commandment to his disciples about loving each other like themselves during the last supper, and washed his disciple's feet to demonstrate the act of a servant leader. it's an amazing scene that i remembered seeing vividly in paintings and pictures, and definitely a day that people commemorate. it was an enlightening experience. (:

choir practice was okay, except that im getting incredibly unstable these days, having not much control over my emotions. sorry if i tend to say things that are offensive, but im really trying my best not to lash out at people who so darn deserve it. really trying. someday i may just blow, i have no idea. countdown to syf: 8 days. and im dying to go to the acjc choir concert on june 1. no matter how expensive it is, i will still go! (:

okay, back to studying lit. im only halfway through scene one and i have five scenes. tudos ~

2009-04-08T20:16:00.002+08:00

#516. had morning practice again, and we practiced in our little rows. pretty conducive like every other practice is, but im still incredibly worried about syf. somehow the thought of it being 9 days away truly scares me, and the mere amount of practices left sure doesnt seem enough to cover much. had a play presentation during chapel today in lieu of the good friday celebration, and it was a pretty good one i must say. indeed, God really knows and watches us, he is the refuge that will love us unconditionally. that is one Good Friday message that i would really want to bring home with me. :D

oh and i lost and found things again this week. just realized once again what a total klutz i am. i actually lose at least one item every single week. for instance, i lost my pretty bookmark yesterday and just found it miraculously on the parade square ground today. i almost lost my math textbook until some kind-hearted junior found it. amazing. im in awe of my luck and my clumsiness. honestly in awe.

physics spa two in the afternoon. was easy, or at least easier than i expected it to be. though my answers are way off compared to the others, i still think that i did fine. or at least i hope i did fine. nothing much to talk about really, too spaced up to notice what im typing. shall go read now. tudos guys ~

2009-04-07T19:35:00.000+08:00

#515. i cant believe the internet is so slow today. and to think that i did my revision so slowly and precisely just to enjoy this wonderful one hour with the computer, and it has to do this to me. came to a conclusion that life is totally absolutely unfair. urgh. anyways i just read melody's dedication post to me on my birthday. so sweet! love ya too gal. hope our friendship will grow stronger too. (:

there's nothing much to blog about today, but there's plenty of emotions within me that i kinda need to vent out. its 10 days to syf, so i've been feeling the pressure building up within me, day by day. its a pretty contradicting feeling to want to do well for choir so much, yet feel so frustrated when you know you have so many other things to do besides it. a pretty crazy emotion, if i have to put it that way. and especially frustrating when you see the lack of dedication from your peers and your juniors, of people you love but disappoint you again and again because of their attitude towards choir. maybe im just a perfectionist who asks the best from everyone, but really, i just want all of us to put in our very best. sometimes, people really prove to me how hard that is to achieve.

i wonder to myself why we cant go further, and i wonder to myself why i'm not losing faith. God is watching, he knows what we are going through. he understands the struggles within me, within all of us. and he will be there to help us, because he is the shelter and the refuge that will give us strength. don't lose faith elena. i really think we can make it. (:

as usual, blogging always makes me feel better. tudos ~

2009-04-06T19:51:00.000+08:00

#514. went to school today and received lots of presents frm anyone. thanks guys i really appreciated it. received lots of jewelry today, and everyone seemed to have realized how much i detest the idea of having soft toys as presents. or maybe i just reminded everyone? either way, im glad that i received things that i like. bangles, necklaces, and everything. and filbert gave me a very exquisite box from hallmark. thanks guys. i will really cherish your gifts. (:

let me try to think of anything interesting at school today. generally it was typically the same, but as usual i hve free periods. once again, i have totally proven my logic of having free periods on mondays. they just cant seem to stop! I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THEM. annoyed. and i studied pretty hard for my ss test, only to find out today that it is postponed to next week. even more annoyed. oh and i pretty much screwed up my amath test, so im incredibly annoyed. generally a pissifying day in short.

went to amk hub with theodore for lunch, and had a "nice" time discussing about travel plans. im so depressed about the fact that i have not yet visited europe. was telling her about my plans to make my future hubby go with me on a three month honeymoon around the world. a pretty queer dream, but hey i mean it. :D bought earrings and i totally brightened up my day because of that. choir practice was kind of short, because we had unofficial practice for sops and the last row, which was torturous. either way, syf is in 12 days, so i pray that we can keep the momentum up.

random: everyone still calls me immature after my sixteenth birthday! humphs! :D tudos ~

2009-04-05T19:51:00.007+08:00

#513. happy sweet sixteen elena (: i think im totally weird to wish myself on this beautiful day. the following post is flooded with pictures, so it may hang your computer. it will definitely not spoil your eyes because its filled with my beautiful memories of today. im proud to say that i have 58 pictures, and i deleted 9 of them, so i'm left with 49. plus those frm theodore's camera, i decided that my birthday has clocked more pictures than singout! scary! well, it isnt called sweet sixteen for nothing right? :D

went to clarke quay with both valeries today. always amazed by the beautiful view there. though it was pretty quiet.

the bridge at clarke quay. empty, kinda reminds me of overseas. somehow the word empty and singapore so does not click together. :D

some bridge around the area which i cant be bothered to remember its name, i just know that its damn nice. :D
very cool building along clarke quay.
the amazing singapore river. it's amazingly dirty, or at least dirtier than i expected. but nice nonetheless. i so wanted to take a ride, but no it costs $13 darn bucks and im broke. :/

drizzling clarke quay. not a sight you will see much, but still pretty. :D

don't ask me why i took a picture with this tree. i just liked it. :D

val kinda reminds me of mona lisa in this picture, doesnt' she? LOLOLOL.

did i ever mention that i like to take pics with vending machines when i'm overseas? well, a special day deserves a special picture. :D

coffee at starbucks while hiding from the rain. in clockwise direction: val's caramel frappe, theodore's java chip and my mocha. had a nice time pinching on drinks from others, trust me. :D

mocha and me. trying to do an ad for starbucks coffee. my dream is so to own my very own cafe, some random revelation of mine today. :D

photo with my monkey @ starbucks.

i decided i love captioning weird photos of people when they hide frm my camera. for instance, this picture is captioned theodore in distress. i had a wonderful weird pic of val, which they so deleted. grr, and i thought it would look nice on my blog. :/

DOMO-KUN! CUTE~~~ :D

val and i have no idea what she is doing. well, at least its a weird pic? :/

hahas one of my fave pictures. shows my LOVE and CARE for my friend filbert. this fat bird totally reminds me of you birdy. aint i a great friend to remember you on my birthday?

everyone decided to take pictures of elena posing. i thought i look so constipated in this picture.

okay i look so much better in this picture. i think i look darn cool. :D

a different location, but im equally cool ...?

okay i have no idea why im posing so much. :D

really nice pic. very special. took it at some little corner on the wall. neat. :D

we decided to be artistic so we started taking pictures of us posing. reminds me of a photoshoped photo. i totally love this.

theodore and me version.

the two valeries contemplating on the floor. :D

went out to walk around after the rain. and its the famous esplanade. :D

after lunch, went to singapore flyer with theodore. we did not sit on it, but took pictures at the yakult discovery park there. i like the fountain. :D

the singapore flyer up close. i used to have pictures of it last year, but i apparently lost them.

picture at amphitheatre outside singapore flyer with theodore. i finally learnt how to use my self-timer. :D

photo on the empty train.

the empty train at marina bay. so peaceful.

okay my post looks darn long. anyways, thanks for the all well-wishes guys. its great that everyone seems to remember my birthday, or have i advertised it too much? hahas, anyways love you all. thanks for everything, especially valeries for the fun day.

i don't feel like going to school tomorrow! ARGH! shall bring my camera for more photo sessions. tuods ~

2009-04-04T20:46:00.005+08:00

#512. it is almost 3 hours to my sixteenth birthday! time sure flies doesnt it? :D woke up early in the morning and decided to go for a haircut. came up feeling okay about it, then realized that it was way shorter than i expected. and i have a bad feeling that my rebonding will disappear after this. was feeling like total crap because my hair looks like shit in a ponytail. it looks pretty much the same from the front, but i still hate it. was lamenting to the whole darn world the whole day that i am so going to kill myself before my sixteenth birthday because of my new haircut. i have no idea what drove me there to cut it, but now im cursing like crazy.

got pranked by dear filbert in the afternoon as he tried to get me out of the house to pass me my birthday present. although i admit that i was drained, it was basically a stupid excuse because i refused to get out of the house with my hair looking like crap. anyway, congratulations mr staff sergeant, you deserve it. all the best birdy. :D

don't ask me how i managed to drag the courage to get out of the house, but i did. went to eat dinner with my family in lieu of celebrating both me and my mum's birthday. yeap i always find it amazing that our birthdays are just a day apart. despite my depression, i managed to take photos. actually i took a lot, but only kept those that i liked.

note: i am not vain or self-obsessed, just feeling really bored when i had to wait for half an hour for my annoying brother to arrive. :/

i was so bored that i first started to take pictures of the nice view from the building.

i like seeing cars go by? (okay, just a stupid excuse for my random photography)

then i decided that i looked better than the view outside (COUGH COUGH!), so i started taking pics of myself instead. lalalas ~ :D

hahas i really like this pic, i think i look so cool. i never realized i took it until i reached home just now. pretty neat isnt it?

the coke that i survived on for the half an hour that i waited for my brother. i still think that the whole zero calorie thing is a lie. i bet it's flooding with sugar and everything, they just don't want to admit it. either way, it apparently didnt stop me from drinking it thats for sure. :D

and my japanese ramen. not as wonderful as i expected, but pretty nice. a simple nice dinner for a birthday celebration. not something that we usually do, but i enjoyed it nonetheless.

okay i shall go and study and wait patiently for twelve midnight to strike. its almost sweet sixteen elena! love guys! tudos ~ :D

2009-04-03T19:57:00.001+08:00

#511. happy birthday to esther jiejie! every year i wonder to myself where there are so many april babies. i always thought i was special and wonderful and no one is ALLOWED to share the same birthday as me. then again i dunno of anyone of the same birthday as me. so im still a little comforted. sounds pretty stupid i know, but at least im in the mood now to crack a little joke. :D

was dreading school like crazy because i hate the idea of having physics, chem and dc on the same day. the only fun lesson i had today was probably english, because we went through all the advertisement ads that the class created. had a great laugh during filbert's presentation about our "charcoal advertisement", which was apparently too "abstract" for most of us to appreciate. a really good laugh trust me. then again chris and i are the best at creating happiness out of other people's misery. speaking of chris, he totally made me throw face in front of my juniors yesterday when annoyed elena chased irritating chris to the CO room. christopher, i hate you~

physics was like totally WTH. i wonder which wonderful physician (or scientist, whatever you call someone who studys physics) created the left-hand rule. it totally doesnt make any sense to me at all. it feels like some kinda trick you teach kids at kindergarten. i was imagining people everywhere doing the sign during the physics 'o' level exam, and couldnt help cracking up. to make things worse, i cannot tell my left hand from my right hand. and man, i thought i already kissed my physics paper goodbye before i saw this chapter.

had random moods for the rest of the day. thrilled when dc was cancelled, grumpy during lunch, even grumpier after my nap, and now relaxed in front of the computer. i sure need to understand myself better, don't it? its two days to my birthday! SMILES GUYS! tudos ~

2009-04-02T19:55:00.003+08:00

#510. i posted an old picture from last year, taken during celebration of dez's birthday. i cant believe one year has past since i met ya my dear. yeah no doubt you definitely brightened up my life, and you've been an important part of it. i hope this relationship will last my fave crazy kuku head. happy 16th birthday, and may all your wishes come true. <3 ya dear. :D

despite the happy fact that it's dez birthday, everything today doesnt seem entirely pleasant. firstly, im getting detention for the first time in my life tomorrow. because i skipped remedial yesterday. voila, two days of dc for missing one hour of chem remedial. im beyond pissed off even though i know its my fault, though it is still pretty comforting that so many people in the class are doing it together. let's take it as a chance to foster class spirit? hahas im just trying to sound optimistic, but apparently it isnt working well.

choir practice in the afternoon, went smoother than i expected. with mr wong around, everything seems to work out better i think. managed to drill in some things into the heads of the sopranos, which i am pretty proud of. just think that we're way below our seniors in standards. oh and kuekjing and junhao came back to visit us today. miss my seniors. i want a birthday present duckie! :D

its 15 more days to SYF. im beyond freaked out now. God, please grant us your peace and strength, to make the last two weeks as fruitful as possible. i really pray. amen.

sometimes in life, you need more than just hope. you need to work for it. sometimes, i really wish people get it. thank you so much for lending me a listening ear audrey. sorry and i love you. :D tudos ~

2009-04-01T14:58:00.003+08:00

#509. totally annoyed about life. there's supposed to be remedial now, but i apparently missed it because i don't feel like going. disclaimer: following post may be offensive to some, not that i actually give a damn, but im polite enough to do this.

choir morning practice again today. totally annoyed about the fact that our discipline is still not up to standard. pretty tired of trying to sound optimistic and happy on my blog when actually all i feel is frustration and despair. wonder how many times i've shed tears for choir for the past week. and sometimes i wonder to myself if its really worth it, and whether i should detach myself from everything, since i will probably feel better that way. its painful to see that everyone thinks they are wonderful and too good to listen to any of us. you may belittle us leaders, you may think whatever you want about us, but the least you could do is listen when we need you to. thats simply all we ask of you i think. which apparently has proved to be too hard for us to do? or are we just not determined enough to do it? God honors our efforts, but i doubt current efforts are very honorable. as much as i want to be encouraging, i really rather slam hard facts at people's faces and make them realize that TIME IS RUNNING OUT. so tired. you probably cannot imagine how tired i am.

second pissifying experience today is remedial. DISCLAIMER: VERY OFFENSIVE (depends on how you see it). i have no idea why people want to complain about having remedials and request for them. talk about ultra contradicting. does it make no sense that if you don't want it, you don't go enquire about it? personally, i felt that my whole day was ruined by this stupid incident, even after i recovered from the morning practice. if any of my classmates decide to betray me (which im sure they will), i will probably land myself into deep shit tomorrow. but at least my conscience is clear, i dont want to go there and waste my time when im not feeling well and feeling perfectly PISSED OFF.

in general, how the hell can life be so pissifying? i hate the first of april already. screw life.

2009-03-31T19:22:00.001+08:00

#508. i love this picture, don't you? yeap we took this at VCH during our rehearsal there on friday. everyone looks amazing, don't you think so? and our gown actually looks nice. AMAZING. seriously love this pic. thanks kaixin for tagging me. :D

i woke up early today to go for morning practice. reached school at 6:18, probably the earliest i've ever did in my four years at phs. morning practice is okay, a little too short to be totally fruitful, but i do think that we learn a little everyday. but its annoying to get pissed off about everything during practice, because i cant stand the lack of discipline of the choir. countdown to SYF is about 18 days, please do some self-reflection guys, before we end this journey well on the 17th april. really hope tomorrow will be better than today. band came back with their results, and it got me into a real nervous frenzy. i have a long time to freak out don't i? keeping my fingers crossed, and may everything be for the glory of God.

and today is the last day of march. like what i always write at the end of each month, its amazing how time flies. val and i were discussing about it today. its queer to want every horrible day to end, yet look back and lament about how time flies when it actually does. sounds kinda ironic, but makes total sense to me. its going to be april tomorrow, and i can already feel the presence of prelim one haunting me. hope i can really concentrate after my SYF. maybe i should go study now? tudos ~

2009-03-30T20:36:00.002+08:00

#507. tired tired tired. am trying to study for my math test tomorrow, but apparently nothing much is going into my head. i suck at statistics, i just cant seem to read tables or anything that doesnt look like algebra. maybe my brain isnt inclined to function in a systematic way, which so doesn't sound like a compliment to myself. oh well. pray that everything will work out tomorrow. :D

monday of term 2 week one. as usual at least one teacher is absent today. always gets me so pissed off that i have to go to school every monday and i have at least 2 free periods. sure they are conducive when i get homework, but still i feel like im wasting my time when i can definitely spend it better at home. its the 2nd consecutive week, so its really starting to bug me. english is pretty interesting, since we're in an advertising topic. we're supposed to come up with an advertisement for charcoal. speaking of which, i have no idea of any brands in singapore that sells charcoal. just know that come in one big packet. someone please enlighten me someday.

choir practice was okay, conducive, but pressure is definitely building up. band is going for their SYF tomorrow, which is really starting to freak me out. i have two whole weeks to get freaked out before choir's syf. hope we can get what we want. even though people say that we should just do our best and leave everything else to God, i feel indignant that the best is yet to be. God would really want our very best, not what we claim to be our best wouldnt he?

depressed that filbert cannot celebrate my birthday with me. somehow its so different without him. sighs. maybe im thinking too much. anyways time for a break. tudos ~

2009-03-29T19:49:00.002+08:00

#506. in my taylor swift craze again, so decided to post another song from the "fearless" album. this song is really nice because its kinda sweet and sad at the same time, reminds me about many things of the past. as usual, elena is always so affected by the music that she hears. at least i like this melancholy. :D

spent my whole day studying because i went out yesterday. have 3 tests next week, and i was trying my best to mug finish everything today. i believe i studied quite a bit but not too much of it has went into my head. kinda expected, since i suck at chem, physics AND math. i have no idea how to do probability anymore, and half of my answers are screwed. shall go and sort it out before the test on tuesday. i don't really want to flunk anything these days. i heard that chem and physics tests are difficult, so im so not making myself feel any better. sighs. hope my efforts pay off then.

a thunderstorm today, which roared for about an hour or so. freaked me out like crazy since i saw lightning like every few minutes. thought i looked like a retard wincing at every lightning/thunder i see. i wish i can do something about this stupid fear of mine. plugged my ipod during the whole storm to try to calm myself, but apparently didnt work. not a great experience, cursing at physics and sitting through a storm, i must say. but I SURVIVED. lets move on from there. :D

school tomorrow again. SIGHS. its about 19 days to SYF. SIGHS. stressed up like mad. tudos ~

2009-03-29T19:45:00.001+08:00

The Way I Loved You
by Taylor Swift

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

Chorus:
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable

Repeat Chorus

He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now

Repeat Chorus

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
Never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

2009-03-28T20:19:00.001+08:00

#504. not feeling well the whole day, and im suffering from gastric pain. starving and waiting for dinner. not really a great way to treat yourself on a beautiful saturday is it? woke up early and prepared the last of ms yee's gift, and studied a bit of math. was feeling very accomplished but tired. so not in the right state of mind for anything these days.

went to j8 to meet val, then waited for like 45mins because she left early. i looked like a total idiot sitting there drinking green tea. RETARDED. i so hated myself for looking so dumb. totally. waited for eternity before melody and noeleen came, then went to plaza sing. strolled around aimlessly until the rest arrived. all in all, celebrating ms yee's birthday was really fun. very amusing to see ms yee being so ... immature? outside choir. an interesting experience, i must admit. had fun bullying dez after so long. i cant deny it, but i did miss him. :D

caught up with them for awhile after the meal, sat around playing truth-or-dare. a conclusion of the day is that NEVER play truth-or-dare when the people around you are not sporting. humms, no one can give me as much entertainment as lihui and chris can they? hope you have a great birthday ms yee! :D

currently stuck here trying to decide what to write for my lit essay. still stuck. sighs. this may take awhile? man ~ so not in the mood today. tudos ~

2009-03-27T19:23:00.002+08:00

#503. did not blog yesterday, my apologies. lalala, today is a beautiful day because i didnt study. went to school and changed into the gown, then warmed-up in preparation for vch rehearsal. decided that i seriously should go for a haircut, because my hair is really starting to annoy me. its not long enough to be tied up but too long to be a fringe. grr. incredibly pissed off for an entire two weeks already. should cut it before syf because it pisses me off any longer.

all in all, rehearsal was pretty okay. like ms yee said, we sounded better than usual, probably because of the environment and everything. felt that for the first time everyone was trying harder than before, which to me is really a good thing to see. though we still have lots of things to improve on, but the results today is pretty satisfactory to me. keep up the good work guys, hope everything will be smooth from now on. went back to school and ate in the canteen.

in the music room, we did stupid things and then had section debrief. the debrief today was especially meaningful, because we shared with them about the previous SYF experience. to me, i really want that silver, or anything better. not a bronze, or anything less. feel like we can do so much more, but everytime we fail. its starting to hurt a lot honestly. a little touchy about such things these days. even though i controlled my tears, val still made me cry in the end. hahas, maybe i should learn to keep my emotions under control until the competiton. :D

went to j8 to eat with val, then bought things for ms yee's gift. oh ms yee loved the box of notes we gave her. i was so happy when she said she liked the box. SUPER HAPPY. efforts paid off, it was like amazing. we seem to owe ms yee so much, its great to see that rare smile on her face this day. that really brightened up everyone's day i bet. okay time to finish up my own gift for her, before rushing my lit essay. i have to finish it today. tudos ~

2009-03-25T20:35:00.000+08:00

#502. today is a boring boring day. as usual. came to a conclusion that i never liked, and never will like, science practicals. did some stupid experiment on speed of reaction today, and sat there for an entire hour stirring a test-tube, heating the test-tube, playing with a thermometer, and getting pissed off under the immense heat in the room. at least it was an easy experiment when you don't have to use much of your brains, but still highly pissifying.

everything else went by like a blur, but english was pretty fun. had fun playing with chris about oral examination tomorrow. was laughing about all the stupid answers that he/i could come up with. creativity helps to bring more marks i hope. oh and ms chionh shared with us some neat tips. for instance, say these words "fish sauce shop" 10 times quickly before your oral exam, it will help to stretch your tongue. neat huh? its not that easy, but worth a try. :D

after physics remedial went to northpoint to watch hotel for dogs with theodore. long story how we got the tickets, but it was a nice movie. not as great as i expected, but nice. typical things that will warm the hearts of people, and make you laugh. worth a watch if you guys havent catch it yet. so going to watch confessions of a shopaholic next. tudos ~

2009-03-24T17:18:00.002+08:00

#501. today is the start of choir morning practice, so i rushed out of the house after i changed because i refused to be late. honestly speaking im not a morning person, i have moodswings in the morning. i hate having to wake up to rush to somewhere, instead of enjoying moments of silence by myself. but i guess the sacrifice is worth it. practice was pretty fruitful, targeted at other things rather than just singing. but i think we still have a long way to go. still see hope though, if we can keep this up. a personal opinion, but the attitude and discipline of members can still be seriously improved on. i dun give a damn if anyone doesnt respect people, but the least you can do is respect the choir, and do what you rightfully should do. :D

school is okay, pretty mundane. i still cant believe that we have not yet finished off centre. we are just 2 pages away from the end of the play! i don't believe this. got bombarded with many essay questions which i promised myself i will look at. not to mention lots of tests for the upcoming weeks. and prelim oral on thursday. i think the teachers don't want to give us an easy time. :/

just back from a horrible day of PE and math remedial, both i find particularly, useless, redundant, and especially pissifying. after a nice cool bath and many a little reading, i will be ALL better. tudos ~

2009-03-23T19:41:00.002+08:00

#500! im always exceptionally happy when i hit a whole hundred in my posts. man its gonna be a long time until 600, so i shall just enjoy the moment. in the process of playing pet society. no im not addicted, i just use it to distress for 30 minutes a day. :D

anyway today is the horrible start of term 2. and to make things even worse, dear val and filbert are not in school. was pretty down the whole day i guess. in summary, i had quite a bit of free periods because many teachers werent in school. i hate it when i go to school for free periods and nothing else. at least i spent them rushing through my homework. thanks so much to theodore for helping me in that annoying summary. i spent like 40 minutes on it. damn pissed off, but im so glad i finished it so that i can spend THIS 40 minutes on facebook/blogging.

choir practice was ... painful in a way. sometimes when you want so much and you seem so far frm your goals, you get irritated, discouraged, many other unhappy things. seeing certain reactions from people you respect is hurtful, but i can understand their feelings. teared during practice. surprisingly, i have not shed a tear during practice for quite some time. perhaps i was able to control my emotions better this year, or maybe, im just too busy to feel anything. its just a month away from syf. honor god in our process, we're supposed to do that right? God, if you can hear my prayers, i really think im trying my best. i really am.

tired. just typing that makes me feel depressed. sighs. not a great way to start the term. tudos ~

2009-03-21T22:07:00.003+08:00

#499 (if i am not wrong, somehow seemed to lost track of where i am). anywhere, after a long long time, i decided to post up the jogathon pics. many missing, but oh well, its okay. credits to my dearest theodore for tagging me with them on facebook. i promise i will post pics asap the next time i take them. don't really like to drag doing it, since it starts becoming a real chore. :/

this amazing creature is something i found hanging on val's bag. leech/slug/lizard? no idea what it is, but its definitely creepy. ooh, interesting creepy crawlie. kinda reminds me of taman negara. memories ~ :D

noeleen! with shufei looking weird in the background.

my fave helmet gal, audrey. :D

eunice and marilyn. :D

despite the angle, i still look shorter than filbert. no credits to valerie there. somebody should so make me look taller in a photo. :/

voila! for instance, like nice johnny. unlike filbert. thanks a lot dude. :D

and finally, a pic with ms goh. i hate my hair during jogathon. a realization that hit me suddenly. looks so messy. grr.

anyways, REMIND ME TO POST PICS NEXT TIME SOONER! i hate turning on the computer just to do this. blog tomorrow. tudos ~

2009-03-20T19:40:00.001+08:00

#498. still having problems sleeping. somehow i just cant go to sleep at night, in the afternoon, and i need to catch up on sleep at weird times. i guess my mind is too full of things, because i cant seem to put it to rest. amazing. i hardly get insomnia. maybe i should work myself harder in the day, which will make me less exhausted, hence = better sleep. worth trying it out, but the holidays are ending soon. if this insomnia craze is going to last during school weeks, i dun think i will last. i cant do without sleep. unlike everyone else who seems nocturnal. :/

literature remedial in the morning today. decided that going through the most depressing part of the play on a beautiful Friday holiday is way too depressing. the mood was like entirely heavy hearing people discussing about hopeless things and suicide. like totally warped and twisted. read this part of the play so many times already, but somehow it seems exceptionally depressing today. guess i just woke up so chirpy today that anything can be depressing. went to the net to check out cool phobias. okay phobias are not cool, but its amazing the variety of it. for instance, people can get phobia of pretty woman! AMAZING, the world is more unexpected than i thought. :D got pissed off when i missed my bus stop again. grr. wasted 20 minutes of my life taking ANOTHER bus home.

been trying to do my holiday homework, and im pretty much cleared. except for stupid assignments that i lost. oh well, will find a solution to that. perhaps going to the library to study with lihui and chris tomorrow. finish up assignments asap. time for a break. tudos ~

2009-03-19T19:09:00.000+08:00

#497. woke up early in the morning and my mum announced that there was no breakfast. and to think that i already woke up feeling pissed off. stomped off to school and ate in the canteen chewing on bread in pure unhappiness. note to self: i hate bunning my hair because i think i look like an idiot. seriously no words of comfort can make me feel better. tried to host hihs and st gabs, then went to music room for practice before showcase.

showcase was ... interesting. i thought all the choice pieces werent really interesting, or maybe i was just bored today. but it did show off the potential of certain schools, and how we apparently need to brush up a lot on our music. decided that choice pieces reflect a lot about the schools. for instance, i think our japanese song is TOTALLY phs. cute, lively, and very difficult. not that we are good, but we are difficult to handle. pretty neat huh? really impressed with st. gabs in particular, but then again there was never once when i was NOT impressed with them. used a lot of imagination and laughed a lot, but yeaps, it was good.

set piece was another story. thought no one sounded exceptionally fantastic, but as usual, st. gabs outshone all of us. still think sop notes are hard to hit, and very scary when you hit in weird ways. like how kuekjing likes to put it. all in all, it was a good exposure, lets hope it can serve as a good wake up call. :D went to eat lunch with some of the singout peeps. yeah missed you guys like crap. went back to school for a pissifying session of chem remedial. so frustrated i teared. urgh. but like audrey say, recharge and be happy for lit tomorrow!

okay my post is getting lengthy. tudos ~

2009-03-18T20:45:00.002+08:00

#496. was on the computer the whole evening and then i realized that i havent blogged. only remembered being damn bloody pissed off at particular people who think they are fantastic and can do whatever they want, not sparing a thought about others who have to suffer on their behalf. particular people that i aint very close to, but should seriously reflect on their irritating existence. damn these people are so not worth my time. and i've totally wasted an entire paragraph on such losers. note to self: suckers aint worth elena's time. no matter how great or how they THINK (note the emphasis on the word pls) they are great. gee, such people aint exactly missed in my life, but i know its gonna bring damn lots of unhappiness to me in time to come. then again, idiots are STILL not worth my time.

today was the combined performing arts syf showcase. in summary, i think everyone did pretty well, maybe except the choir. thought we were really soft, and pitching was like blah blah, fill in the blanks. then again we really should start getting used to different environments during practice, in order to better prepare for SYF, so lets just keep our fingers crossed. got pretty intimidated by the progress that the other performing arts are going at, and how we seem to be staying stagnant. not much time left. can you feel the pressure guys? because i can. :/

tomorrow is the not-really-looking-forward-to-it choirs showcase. feel tired just thinking about it. have to bun hair tomorrow. my new equation is bun hair elena = unhappy elena. we shall see if the theory works tomorrow. tudos ~

how come people have mirrors to enlarge others' flaws?
but never any to reflect on themselves?
man i do know people who need them.

2009-03-17T18:24:00.002+08:00

#495. been trying to load anime the whole day on this laggy computer, but it just doesnt seem to be working. like its prohibiting me from watching it. grr, incredibly frustrasted. i swear i will make this stupid thing work. *pissed off*

went to amk hub to meet val in the afternoon, and ate at sumo house. yummy yummy tempuras. ate so much of it that my throat suffered during choir practice. personally think that row practices are more conducive than sectionals, though both aint that great. tried to thrash out all the errors today, but i think there's still a lot. then again it was a good effort, so lets just keep our fingers crossed that tomorrow will be fine. god bless.

actually enjoying my holidays, waking up late and everything, and not having to report to school. ok at least not really for studying purposes. then again it will probably be over before i know it. might as well enjoy it as much as possible yeah? okay time for more relaxing plans. tudos ~

2009-03-15T18:39:00.002+08:00

#494. boring boring day. been spending my day studying and slacking, trying my best to concentrate but not really working. wanted to get out of the house but just cant seem to find the energy to. didnt go to the st. gabs concert today and was dying of guilt in the house. good luck guys, hope it was successful! :D

was a total pig today. i slept for 3 hours in the afternoon. okay not a great accomplishment to brag about, but i've not done it for a pretty long time, so the break was good. i do like doing things at my own pace, somehow life feels much more relaxing that way. but i still have lots of revision and homework to do, so not really a great time to be a total slacker. on the bright side, at least im not procrastinating my homework.

maybe going to watch a movie with my bro and my mum tomorrow. hooray, something to look forward to. okay back to my homework. tudos ~

2009-03-14T20:56:00.014+08:00

#493. have not yet gathered all my pics from DE, but let me upload all these up first. :D

DISCLAIMER! FOLLOWING POST IS JAMMED WITH PHOTOS, MAY TAKE A LONG TIME TO LOAD! SINCERE APOLOGIES. -.-

MELODY! :D

saw melody at the corridor. found out today that their food was so much better than ours. DAMN IT.

RUSSELL! :D

VALERIE! :D

HUILING! :D

HUILING AND LIHUI! :D

VALERIE SAW! :D

SIEN! :D

KEZIA! :D

YVONNE! :D

DARRYL AND YVONNE! :D

HORNY JYE, JUSTIN AND JOHNNY! :D

ZHIHONG AND EUNICE! :D

NOELEEN! :D

FILBERT! :D

AUDREY!:D

ESTHER! :D

MAIZATUL! :D

HENDRY! :D

MADELINE! :D

LIHUI AND VAL! :D

MY FAVORITE LADIES :D

VALERIES AND YVONNE! :D

SHUFEI! :D

CLASS PHOTO! :D

FOURFAITH'09 TOTALLY ROCKS. :D

came to a conclusion that uploading pics is SERIOUSLY TIRING. but oh well, i still have more, so lets just split up the load next time. tudos ~

2009-03-13T20:33:00.004+08:00

#492. today is the second day of the celebrate life seminar. had a talk by sajc principal about jc education, which i found pretty useful. a pretty confirmed route for me honestly. then headed off to nyp. took lots of random pics, so posting some of them up here. :D

after a brainwashing talk about poly education, we had an interview session where we learnt how to have good interviews. got so bored i started taking random pics. artistic no? :D

i like this pic, val took it. looks pretty cool doesnt it?

i actually look pretty cool paying attention! (smiles at her own vanity) :D

like the clouds in the background. feels so free ... ahh ~

then decided to go to the washroom to take pics. here's one with cowie kezia.

decided to experiment how spastic i would look with two cameras. apparently it was stupid. but oh well, pretty cool to me. :D

went to visit the faculty of design and interactive design media. here are the works found in the interior design studio. pretty cool isnt it? looks so abstract. and the lecturer was really nice.

a wire sculpture which i swear i will never be able to do. -.-

tree branches! cant tell right? talk about artistic! :D

had lots of fun at NYP, even though i thought i wouldnt. went to eat lunch with val, theodore and huiling at long johns, and laughed until i could die. went around yishun talking with theodore and huiling, and pretty much a great way to end a great day. thanks for all the fun guys.

will upload pics of DE soon! i promise! and those of jogathon soon too, i hope! tudos ~ :D

2009-03-12T20:20:00.002+08:00

#491. today is the first day of celebrate life seminar. and im exhausted after a long tiring day. to start off from the start, we had a long address and stared to paint kites. was trying my best to make mine look like a mike? but personally i didnt think it did. supposed to represent my aspirations and everything, but ended up having lots of fun just smearing around with the paint.

concurrent talks were pretty interesting. at least i enjoyed the hospitality and tourism management talk by TP. it was very enriching, and learnt many things about it. for instance, i think business etiquette and social excellence (BESE) electives are way cool. you can actually look incredible after such lesons. then again, probably is my vanity kicking in again.

after a tiring process of changing, the long-awaited DE finally came. honestly speaking i didnt enjoy myself as much as i thought i would. the food was bad, but everyone looked stunning. and had a good time bonding with my class, so i guess it was still worth it. but still, i just wished it could have been better. oh, alwyn called me unglam. oh well, im just NATURAL right? hahas. :D

tired. probably continue surfing FB. upload pics when i get ALL of them, not going to do them little by little. tudos ~

2009-03-11T19:36:00.002+08:00

#490. not blogged for two days, my apologies about that. busy packing things for my dining etiquette tomorrow now. yes unbelievably tml is celebrate life seminar and dining etiquette. time sure seems to fly doesnt it? everyone is in the process of discussion and excitement, and i think its a pretty cool atmosphere. :D

to do a short report about the past two days, it was basically pissifying and nothing interesting. got upset at lots of things, mostly unreasonable people who are not really worth my time. visited theodore's house for a first time, and came to a conclusion that i really like it. cosy cosy feeling. maybe i just like any place but school. humms ... something worth pondering over?

choir practice is stressful, and tiring, but i know i have to cope through it, so enough said about all the emotional things. lets just give a final dash for the syf. :D on the bright side, i have a feeling that i will really enjoy celebrate life seminar. so all the best to me and all my anticipation! try my real best to blog tml, its gonna be a great day. tudos ~

2009-03-08T20:01:00.002+08:00

#489. woke up early and started to rush through my ss assignments, and im so glad that i actually finished them. aware that there are many more to come, so i would really prefer to finish them asap before the mountain starts to build up. was taking my well-deserved break resting and reading, but got really bored, so went to meet theodore at causeway point.

strolled around and ate my fave aglio olio. :D and i finally got my dress! sure it isnt as great as i expected it to be (seriously my dream dress seems impossible to find), but i like it. cant wear it the way i expected to, but i'll just make do with it. but i still need a shawl or something, so yeaps, feel that there's gonna be a hold in my pocket. was trying to find accessories and everything, but cant find anything that i really like. probably go hunt again after school before thurs, but at least i got my dress, so no complaints! :D

next week is going to be tiring what with all the activities and morning practices. hope i can survive the last week of school well. tudos ~

2009-03-07T20:11:00.001+08:00

#488. supposed to be in the process of doing my ss assignments but i realized that i aint too clear about the topics, so i shall push it back to tomorrow. been so busy with so many activities these days that i feel like im neglecting my studies. okay i promise myself that i will finish a teeny tiny bit of chem before bed today. believe it or not prelims is in about four months away. time to feel the pressure heating up again i guess. :/

woke up early and tried to study, then went off for choir practice. saw my brother's friend on the train, and had a nice time chatting with him. still find it pretty queer to chat with people you aint that close with. practice was stressful, got lashed at quite badly for our silly mistakes. personally i think we should start working WAY harder than this. morning practices are going to start soon, so lets just all start mugging hard for the last month to syf! we can make it guys. :D

went to j8 with madeline and alwyn after that for DE shopping. seriously starting to think that im took picky for my own good, i cant seem to find anything i like despite going to so many shopping malls. actually have an urge to miss it, but then again i probably wouldnt. sighs, maybe i should go and try my luck again tomorrow? lets hope it will be a fruitful trip. blog tomorrow. tudos ~

2009-03-06T20:22:00.002+08:00

#487. and its jogathon and sports fiesta today! met theodore, filbert and sien to amk park west, and dear filbert claimed that he wanted to walk there, and ran to catch up with the bus to take to the park for two stupid stops. i didnt want to comment on how lame he is, but YES YOU ARE LAME! :D

jogathon was FUN! ok sure i don't run really fast, but it was a great experience. felt really ... energized about it. the distance wasnt far, but somehow it felt tiring. maybe i should start training more? was really happy about the free drinks we could exchange though. and got totally freaked out by this big lizard/slug/leech? creature hanging at val's bag. really i cant identify that animal! COOL! :D:D:D

sports fiesta was ok, just ran around looking at all the games and trying to find my classmates. the dunking machine was the apparent highlight of the whole fiesta, and got pretty annoyed by some happenings of the day, but lets just keep it confidential as it is. either way, thought sports fiesta was a great success, so cheers to mr yeo and everyone else, thanks for the great experience today. :D looking at the negative side, was really pissed off about ss remedial because i felt like it was a total waste of my life essence. went to novena with theodore and lihui to shop for dining etiquette, but apparently couldnt find anything i liked AGAIN. realized that i should seriously start being less picky. SIGHS. either way i probably have to go clothes-hunting again soon. a lesson i've learnt for the past few weekends, me and dresses are so not in the same frequency. :/

worried about syf. tired from school. so excited about celebrate life seminar. melancholic from the memories of jogathon. just a bundle of emotions mixed up in a crazy me. time for a break maybe. all pictures of today will be posted when i get mr toh's camera from him. tudos ~

2009-03-05T19:43:00.003+08:00

Check yes Juliet
by We the Kings

Check yes Juliet are you with me?
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside
Check yes Juliet kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight.
Lace up your shoes (ay oh ay oh)
Here's how we do

Chorus:
Run, baby, run don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance.
Don't sell your heart don't say we're not meant to be.
Run, baby, run forever will be you and me.

Check yes Juliet I'll be waiting
Wishing, wanting yours for the taking.
Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye.
Check yes Juliet here's the countdown
3... 2... 1... now fall in my arms now
They can change the locks don't let them change your mind
Lace up your shoes (ay oh ay oh)
Here's how we do

Repeat Chorus

We're flying through the night
We're flying through the night
Way up high, the view from here is getting better with
You by my side

Repeat Chorus

2009-03-05T19:36:00.002+08:00

#485. was psychoing myself to do my homework today, but apparently i gave up after spending an hour on matrices. i shall mug on the trigo differentiation tomorrow. a little too complex for a tiring day like today. :D

whitespace today was the briefing on celebrate life seminar next week. i cant wait. i get to paint, attend talks by nanyang poly, visit nanyang poly, and attend dining etiquette workshop at the same time! isnt that totally cool or what? never looked forward to anything so much in the entire year ok. seriously cant wait for next week to come. im all set for looking pretty and happy for the beautiful last week of term one! lets all have great fun guys! :D

and its the wonderful jogathon tomorrow! can you feel my burning enthusiasm for everything? ok i cant deny the fact that i aint that keen about ss remedial, but so THRILLED tomorrow. plus SHOPPING! im gonna love tomorrow! keep up my happiness! see ya all tomorrow! RUN RUN RUN!!! :D

2009-03-04T16:53:00.001+08:00

#484. i hate sleepless nights. insomnia for the past few days and i already feel like shit. i wonder how people manage to sleep only at the wee hours. im a total lazy bum cant deny it. incredibly tired. :/

managed to survive an entire day of three periods of amath! plus four periods of physics! was staring at ms tang solve a incredibly hard differentiation of trigo functions and surd question, and going like WOW. was NOT comforted at all when she said that there is a possibility it will come out during the 'o' levels. i cant stand anything that isnt a whole number, or maybe i just suck so much at amath i cant solve it. then again maybe i was just too tired. either way, im so glad it was over. and now im bombarded with lots of homework. wonderful day indeed.

physics was boring. was trying so hard to set up my experiment and i obviously failed. after an entire hour of stupidity, i actually burst out in tears laughing at myself. so did val. i have to remember this day of craziness. think im out of my mind or something. and to think that physics spa is coming soon. im so dead aint i? so so dead.

time for bed. maybe i'll feel better after a little rest. tudos ~

2009-03-03T19:55:00.002+08:00

#483. sorry for that not really nice post yesterday, but im better today. still in a bad mood and everything, but believe me, i want to know the reason for this too. either way lets just hope that these nonsensical things will die down from my life and i just move on happily with it. :D

usual boring day of school, but i was happy that i passed my physics. like seriously. though ms lem said that i still have some reflecting to do. yeah i agree with her. sighs. watched off centre during lit and continued the french movie during english. decided that stalker lovers are scary. really. i still have those scenes vivid in my head. shall just take it as a good exposure?

PE was cancelled! only thing that brightened up my day. im still not feeling well despite the rest just now. got drenched five times last week, probably explains it. but will still drag myself to school tomorrow i guess. man im tired. tudos ~

2009-03-02T19:41:00.002+08:00

#482.

DISCLAIMER: POSSIBLE LIGHT VULGARITIES IN POST, ALL COMMENTS ARE PERSONAL OPINIONS ARE THE BLOODY DAY I HAD, KEEP ALL YOUR UNHAPPINESS AT MY WORDS TO YOURSELF

bloody pissifying day today. firstly i had like five free periods and practically wasted my life essence in school. except that i was rushing all the mountain of chinese homework due next week, and i had a gigantic headache frm all the crammy chinese words that i was reading and writing AT THE SAME TIME. to prove my point, im still writing it now. so bloody pissed off about book checks. i seriously dun see the point of book checks when everyone just pretends to be hardworking for like one term and freaking don't care after that. talk about what the hell, i have better things to do in my life.

choir practice today. and realized the mountains of dates of practices and showcases during the march holidays. damn crushed because i had such wonderful plans to spend my holidays mugging like shit, and now i have to come back for practice. i like practices, but not the fact that some people can just miss for no bloody rhyme reason and get away with it. if we are a team we sure are not behaving like one. i usually don't express my frustration at this but seriously im damn pissed off. if people wants to be respected as whatever they are, at least try to make yourself deserve it. because honestly some of us have some serious reflecting to do, if it ever crosses their minds that they are actually doing bloody unfair things to the whole choir.

hey wake up your bloody ideas before you get the whole world pissed off like me. don't we have like syf next month?! seriously i don't want to relive that moment of grief. lets just end this well and end this fast, and make it a happy memory for everyone. i freaking want to graduate from this place in happiness.

still damn pissed off, blogging doenst really help, im trying to tame the words in my head. screw march 2 2009. note my disclaimer, sorry if my words seem offensive. tudos ~

2009-03-01T18:47:00.003+08:00

#481. just reached home after an exhausting day of shopping. met theodore at khatib at noon. went to far east plaza for a stroll, and had fun looking at nice accessories. been on some kinda accessories craze since yesterday when i was surfing on the net. that was the fun part of the day, when we just went around orchard looking at nice things.

decided to go to bugis after that to try my luck at getting a dress for dining etiquette. to cut the long story short, after a painful approximate three hours of walking around, i ended up with nothing. seriously. excluding the necklace i bought at diva in an attempt to brighten the day. honestly. sorry for making you walk so long with me today theodore. may we have better luck again on friday at novena or somewhere else. :/

felt like i totally wasted my entire day today. especially significant since its the 1st of march. repeat the logic of how i love to spend my time conducively. and i was feeling so guilty for wasting my weekend not studying. will start mugging next week, promise. okay time for a break. im so tired im getting stuck on the chair. tudos ~

2009-02-28T21:10:00.002+08:00

#480. and i love saturdays! didnt do much today except went to school for saturday choir practice. it was fruitful to me, and the new choice piece is so cool! its sounds so jazzy but childish at the same time, and i loved like mad at stupid things that i shall not declare here. so dun want to get into trouble with anyone. hahas but had a great time. went to eat with val and madeline at cheers. love choir peeps so so much! :D

went home and rest and was on facebook for the past three hours. came to a conclusion that pet society is so much easier to play when you have a fast computer. not like the one in my room that hangs like every five minutes. sometimes its great that my brother isnt at home. and daddy is finally home, so yeaps, theres a happy atmosphere hanging around the house? im actually grinning from ear to ear now in front of the computer. crazy no? :D

and today is the official last day of feb, so i sat down and reflected for a moment. realized that time passed like a breeze, and it was all pretty blur to me, guess i was just too caught up in my studies and busy lifestyle. and i always like the melancholic moments of reflection, too bad there isnt much to reflect about. but i do know that i can live happier for march! SMILES!

shopping tml with val saw at far east plaza. i cant wait! tudos ~

its like something. when i think of you.
something weird. something crazy.
familiar. but you are already so far away.

2009-02-27T19:22:00.001+08:00

yupps its marley and me. went to watch it after school today with the clique. really nice movie because im a total dog lover. super touching and everything, you guys should go and catch it. :D

nothing much to do these days really. dun feel like studying after the common tests, and trying to find the core of my life, which is quite hard. its really difficult to be searching for something important when so many things are? i hate it that im interested in everything, and such a perfectionist. what makes me happy i dun even know. all the career things and everything, i don't even know what i want with my life. just hope that celebrate life seminar will be a little help.

its kinda weird to want to grow up, but stay yourself at the same time. knowing that you have to make a decision, but no idea how. weird huh? oh well. shall go soak in more on my confusion. tudos ~

2009-02-26T18:48:00.002+08:00

#478. firstly, happy birthday to filbert and johnny! hope you all with have a great day today, and thanks for being such great friends and classmates. to my dear filbert, thanks for always being there when i need you, and im glad that we've made your birthday as special as you, not that it is possible. see? i finally said something nice today. HAPPY BIRD DAY! <3 you. :D

and voila! its the end of common test! super happy i was practically jumping around the house in happiness. but not that thrilled with my results, so i shall not comment on that. all in all, glad that i can finally take things at my own pace for awhile, and busy myself with other things like the upcoming jogathon and dining etiquette! march holidays are going to be a blast! whee! i cant wait ~

been thinking about lots of things these days, but i cant seem to express them in words. figuring out what you really feel about many things is hard, trying to convince yourself to do it is even harder. when you feel like smiling, you cant figure out why you are happy. when tears roll down your face, its hard to understand where the pain is from. when you sit down and think, you get confused. yet when you face life strongly everyday, you feel assured. so do we reflect to be happy? or do we ignore to be happy? self-denial is denying yourself of something. i dun feel denied. but i dun feel accomplished. just empty. pretty empty.

a quote from a book im reading says, "everything today is not the same and yet it is exactly the same and it can never be the same again." so guys, try to live everyday to the fullest and stay happy always, because time is not one thing that will ever make its way back. :D

just a random thought of the day. time to play after a tiring exam period. tudos ~

2009-02-23T19:10:00.001+08:00

#477. feeling super stressed up and now, and incredibly tired. but slightly cheered up because i managed to find my stupid chem textbook. it actually got stuck right at the back of my bookshelf! as if any normal person will see it that. i don't even want to know why it landed up there, but either way, im just glad i got it back. :/

physics ct was hard. expected. don't think i will do fantastic for it. once again, expected. just a painful usual day of school, painful because im dying for the common tests to be over. super frustrated today based on numerous factors, and generally pissed off about life. choir was okay. just going to use that word. nothing else to comment about.

i always liked this date in my life, but today isnt totally pleasant is it?

happy birthday to you.

may all your wishes come true.

2009-02-22T18:49:00.002+08:00

#476. happy birthday hendry! and yes, i do remember your birthday, i've a seriously kind friend. hope you will have a great day my dear. :D

usual sunday spent, mugging like crazy. studied physics for really long, and am still having problems trying to fit wave terms into my head. somehow i just think "wavefront" and "wavelength" doesnt make any sense. then again physics never ever makes any sense to me. and why in the world would someone want to invent something like the ohm's law? either way, just keeping my fingers crossed that i will do well for my paper tomorrow. please lend me your strength God. amen.

feeling fatigued at the end of the common tests, and i still have three more papers. history is no big deal, since i've finished my wonderful factsheet, but chem im not that keen about. which reminds me that i have to go study again, and stop trying to procrastinate my life. "chilling under the stress" isnt exactly a good thing to do right now.

choir tml even though common test isnt over yet. and tml is a special day to me. sighs. syf is coming. SIGHS. stressed up. tudos ~

you can never hear what i want to say to you

then again, i always presume that you don't care

2009-02-21T19:35:00.000+08:00

#475. so pissed off at my computer for lagging while i was facebook-ing. me and my new craze on pet society, which my brother declared was totally lame. at least im having fun distressing. just hope that the computer will start acting normally.

went to woodlands library at ten am to study with lihui. mugged until chris came, and continue mugging all the way until lunchtime. walked around aimlessly trying to look for a present for filbert, and we found it. nopes, not revealing it until 26th feb. if you are reading this birdy, i hope you're looking forward to it as much as we are.

filbert came over and started laughing about de again. no idea why everyone has so much laughing about that, and filbert's stupid analogies about people. lols studying with them is totally fun, you feel like you're stressed out and distressing at the same time, studying but having so much fun. did a lot today, finished my factsheet and physics and everything. amazingly we actually studied for 6.5 hours! cool, this is so conducive. we should try it more often next time guys!

lihui and i are dying to go on the free s'pore flyer trip. praying so hard that it hasnt end yet. im dying to go after my common test! shall go check out. tudos ~

2009-02-20T15:50:00.003+08:00

#474. this song means a lot to me. when i first heard it i was like, gosh it says so much about life. but then again sometimes being not over someone is not an excuse not to move on with your life. really i learnt that the hard way, and i don't really want to go back to it anymore. :D

i've totally NOT flunked my amath common test today. i don't have the results back yet, but i know i wouldn't fail. my hard work has paid off thankfully. now all i have to do is to start mugging like crazy for physics and chem and start praying that nothing seriously bad happens to it. on a brighter note, its 3 more papers to the end of common test. then jogathon cum sports fiesta, then celebrate life semina cum dining etiquette, and voila the march holidays! see? life is worth anticipating for. :D

been in a really melancholic mood these days just sitting there thinking about the past. happy and sad things. the things that happened when i was young, when i wasn't like the way i am now. somehow its kinda weird looking back at yourself and trying to recall the moments of your life. somehow it feels so sweet, but so sad, that it's all gone away. maybe life s just like that isnt it? you just cant get what you want at that exact moment anymore, because it will never come back. :/

going to the library to study with lihui and the others tomorrow. can't wait to start mugging hard to the end of my common test. tudos guys ~

2009-02-20T15:33:00.002+08:00

A Little Too Not Over You
by David Archuleta

You never cross my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else
It's for the best, I know it is
But I see you sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside and I turn around
You're with him now I just can't figure it out

Chorus:
Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
Not over you

Memories supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong moving on
But I see you sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside and I turn around
You're with him now I just can't figure it out

Repeat Chorus

Maybe I regret everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own how I let you go
I'll never understand I'll never understand

Repeat Chorus

2009-02-19T20:32:00.002+08:00

#472. been doing like three whole hours of amath and my brain is getting way too exhausted to absorb anything. im going to take it as a sign to be resting. :D

still in the midst of my common test. ss paper today, it was manageable, except very tiring because i dont really like writing for 45 minutes non-stop. some stupid embarrassing incident happened during whitespace today because dear mr yeo had to say something stupid in frnt of like 2 whole cohorts. its so dumb i dun even want to elaborate about it, just that its totally way not true. lets just hope that this stupidity dies down, im kinda tired these days.

you know sometimes when you get stuck in the middle of making decisions, and you don't know what to do at all? sometimes you just want to give up, sometimes you want to hold on, but either options just don't seem right. you can't tell the motives behind your actions, the things you want to achieve, you only follow your heart and do what you think is right, even though you know it isnt. somehow i've been feeling like this these days. its kinda crazy, and generally driving me crazy. sorry if im talking in riddles again, not exactly fond of expressing myself too openly. :D

either way, decisions or no decisions, you still make a move in your life don't you? oh well. i'll rather keep smiling, then grumble on forever. time for a break. good luck for amaths tomorrow guys. tudos ~

i still see your face in my head.

i still remember so much about you.

im losing it arent it? losing it and lost you.

2009-02-18T15:26:00.002+08:00

#471. long time no see computer! actually its only about less than 48 hours, but i'll just pretend that it was a painful yearning process. either way, im supposed to be doing my factsheet now, but im obviously procrasinating through blogging and facebook. i promise to study by four. PROMISE. :D

right in the midst of common test now. all the papers until today were hard to me, maybe im just not well-prepared for anything. that totally makes sense to me, unlike electrolysis, which i was like HUH?! -.- somehow its weird when your own stupidity makes sense to you. either way, im being incredibly optimistic about the fact that common test is almost over, and i have only 5 more papers to freedom (for approximately two days before i start mugging like crazy again). see? it doesnt pay to be optimistic. you cant stay optimistic for long. :/

trying to recall any interesting things that happened these few days. physics practical today was hilarious, everyone had a great time laughing at how i cant see a straight line in an image. so im not really visually inclined, big deal? but yeahs, i had fun, when i FINALLY learnt to look at it properly. came to a conclusion (actually it hit me a long time ago) that i totally suck at practicals. and its so true. and ms tang has a theory that lit students will be good at amath because it allows you to "read between the lines". earth to ms tang and everyone else who thinks that well, doesnt really apply to yours truly over here. :D

in a total confusing frenzy these days, but somehow i sound so happy. decided that my unhappiness hits like waves, they disappear even faster than i realize. when i remember why i was feeling pissed off, i'll blog about it.

see? time to study! tudos guys ~ miss ya computer. :D

2009-02-15T20:31:00.002+08:00

#470. been uploading pics on facebook for the past one hour, and im still not done yet. came to a conclusion that either my computer is slow or i just have way too many pics to upload. was trying to entertain myself with something on the net as i take a break from a tiring day of studies, but didnt expect facebook to make me even more tired. :/ talk about WHEW.

was spending my whole day mugging. well, expected, since common test is less than 24 hours away. studied bits and pieces of every subject that it supposed to be tested next week, but felt like not much went into my brain. for instance, i couldnt get half of the trigo questions right, when i could do them like two days ago. im taking it as a sign that im too tired and i should be resting, resulting in me and my facade on facebook now.

and i signed up for peiying camp. dearest htay aung gave me the wrong date. pam and i were like LOL, how come its during the weekend? pam's not free, jingyan's not going, i wonder why i bothered to go back. but im sure it will be fun, cause pam guaranteed me it will. since this is going to be a special year, i'm gonna make it as enjoyable as possible, right? im sure i wun regret my decision. :D

low humidity, as dez put it. the weather is so hot. im so going to bathe again later. tudos guys, all the best for common test tml ~

2009-02-14T21:15:00.001+08:00

here comes the happy post. happy valentine's day to all! hope everyone feels the LOVE in the air! got lots of cool presents this year, thanks a lot guys. but like what theodore and i were saying, valentine's been commercialized in the way that no one really knows the true meaning of it. so i decided to share a story about the origins of this special day.

a long time ago there was a man who was convicted in jail for a long time, and was struggling to keep himself alive. to prevent himself from going crazy, he had a penpal who wrote to him all those years, giving him a hope and a source of connection to the outside world. and on the day that he was to be put to death (14th february), he wrote a final letter to his friend saying, "thank you, my Valentine." :D its an amazingly sweet story isnt it? so ironic how a day of friendship became about love. but its definitely a day to show your appreciation to the people around you. :D

now to share with you the joys that i received this year

this is a cupcake that mr toh has personalized for the whole class. mine is a pic of a test-tube with my name on it. isnt it totally amazing? it was delicious too. took lots of pics of it, but i like this one because of the cool angle. thanks a million mr toh!

huiling's and mine. hers shows a round-bottom flask, and the green design one shows a conical flask. talk about CHEMISTRY. we actually made a pyramid out of these things, and took a pic with mr toh's camera. super cool.

all the goods i've received today. thanks a lot guys. i love chocolates. theodore was saying that no one gives mars for vday. come on, i like mars. :D

even more gifts. see the little photo there? its one of taman that sien printed for us. thanks a lot gal. and the pretty wrapped cake over there is from my dear senior melody. thanks a lot gal. really appreciate it. love ya all. <3s> me dying of happiness and posing with my nice blue cupcake. talk about craziness over food. or vanity about myself. either way, i love taking pics.

me and val with our cupcake noses. ok it was supposed to be at the mouth but i have no idea why it ended up covering my nose. we're too weird aren't we?

and here's a normal pic. my bro was asking me why i have so many pictures. come on, special occasions deserve photos ok. -.-

tadas ~ my 5 hours of effort, aka the 36 vday cards that i've made yesterday. took me a long time to figure out the design, and write out everything individually. believe me, not easy to come up with wishes for everyone thats different. but you guys are all worth it. :D

and esther gave me a Bible verse this year ...

For God so loved you so much that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him will not die, but have everlasting life. JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH, HE DIED FOR YOU. :D

thanks a lot gal. God's everlasting love, is one we can always count on. have a great vday this year guys. love you all. tudos ~

2009-02-14T20:02:00.004+08:00

#468. was trying to find a nice picture of titration, but i couldnt, so let's just make do with this. titration basically reflects the chem spa i took today. i can only say one word, screwed. first i bloody overshot my titration like four times, and saw the stupid purple color like so many times. purple with phenopthalein is good, but screened methyl orange no. then at the end of the stupid experiment, i realized that i didnt put on my googles. lets not replay the mountain of vulgarities that flew through my mind at the instant i saw that stupid transparent-looking thing on my table. seriously, it wasnt nice.

to make things worse, came out and realized that the end part of my calculation was a total flop. talk about cursing and swearing at life. was feeling incredibly pissed at myself for not preparing for it yesterday. was just rushing all my vday cards. sighs. comforted myself that its only the first. thanks for trying to cheer me up duckie. :D

went bubbletea shop with val and theodore, and was talking about lots of things. certain things in life you don't expect, certain troubles you cannot cope up. but the worst thing, the certain trust that you lack from others. the pain that you can't ignore, that will always haunt you. really understood it the hard way today, the bugging feeling at the back of my head came back to me again. tearing again ... maybe i should just stop it.

went to northpoint to walk around with theodore to get a different mood of things. thanks for the walk gal, and spending vday with ya. loves. =)

posting a happy post about v'day later. to forget all this stupid unhappiness in me. tudos ~

2009-02-13T20:15:00.005+08:00

#467. the weather is so humid these days that i actually bathed twice in like three hours. was in this total nervous frenzy rushing through my Vday cards for tomorrow, and feeling totally exhausted now. talk about making yourself feel crazy about life. seriously tired. :/

and today is total defence day celebration, explaining the logo at the top of the post. see, im so grumpy now im even talking nonsense. ohohoh, aka friday the thirteenth. not a very lucky day. almost got stuck in the lift for half an hour, so i was so relieved that i didnt take that lift today. then i tripped over a stupid dustbin and dropped my coin into the drain. everyone says that im just plain stupid and superstitious, but seriously, i believe that this day is CURSED.

to prove my point, the school cut off electricity for the 1st two periods for us to taste the suffering of total defence day. WOW. chris stupidly suggested that we manually spin the fan, which jason stupidly attempted to do. then we were greeted with the all-familiar fire drill. plus sweet potatoes for recess. dun get me wrong, i like total defence day, but as shufei plainly put it, "there's NO OTHER MORE CREATIVE WAY to spend it." assembly was about a gameshow on total defence. pretty much a flop, but the sec 4/5 consortium won. whoots!

after a pissifying chinese remedial lesson, went to northpoint with val to shop for Vday gifts. thanks a million to everyone who gave me gifts today, i'll prepare them for you guys tomorrow. had lots of fun laughing about stupid things, and just roaming around the place aimlessly. still in my nervous frenzy and worried sick about chem spa tml, even though im too tired to use my brain. hope everything goes well. seriously keeping my fingers crossed. :/

perhaps i should go rest. reporting to school DAMN early tml for chem. and i survived friday the 13th! tudos ~